


Broken by Love

by EmotionsofInk



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Asexuality, Exploring Relationships, Exploring feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Nicolaj is an ever bigger Idiot, Peter is an Idiot, and Leena has to deal with them, but kinda of fluffy at times too, they are all kind of just a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionsofInk/pseuds/EmotionsofInk
Summary: When Peter returns to his apartment sick and injured, Leena and Jensen take it upon themselves to take care of him.Secrets come to the surface and feelings are admitted as the three of them help each other realize just because they have been broken by love before, doesn't mean it's going to happen every time.
Relationships: Nicolaj "Jensen" Jensen/Yiliang "Doublelift" Peng, Peter/Leena
Comments: 11
Kudos: 17





	1. Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Hello All! I hope we are staying safe and healthy wherever we might find ourselves in this interesting time. My country has just declared a four month lock-down, so I am now at home, with nothing to do but write haha!
> 
> I actually started working on this at the start of the split and really had no time to post it until now (as I had hand-written most of the story, but not actually typed it), the real reason for getting this done was I found myself in a very similar situation to Jensen's ark in this and I needed an outlet for my own personal angst.

“Maybe I should go, I don’t want to intrude on you anymore than I already have.”

“No please, I welcome the company, keep my mind off worrying about him.”

With a sigh, he walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking about that, of course I will stay.”

She nodded in thanks, falling back onto the couch and placing her head in her hands, “He is… is okay right – maybe he just forgot, maybe he got distracted by something, maybe he actually isn’t alright and is in trouble and I am just sitting here…”

“Hey,” Joining her on the couch he took her hand and squeezed it, “I am sure whatever it is, he is on his way back home right now, that he is okay and he is going to just apologize to the both of us for being an idiot.”

A small laugh escaped he lips, “I would like that – if that was what happened.” There was a small silence between them, before she broke it, leaning slightly into his as she did so. “It scares me, you know, how much this is affecting me… it… it scares me, because… because I think I love him.”

He glanced over at her, watching as she shuffled even more gripping his arms tightly as her head fell onto his shoulder. He held his breath, wanting to see if she would want to talk before, he said anything else.

“Have you ever been hurt by love before… by loving someone?” Her voice shock slightly, “I have… it was horrible and I promised myself I would never fall in love again. That my relationships would never get that far in but… but here I am, in love with Peter.”

“And you’re scared he’ll hurt you?”

“I, I don’t know? He has been hurt too you know, so maybe, maybe not. I mean, I hope not, I really truly do love him. I just couldn’t cope, if I were to get hurt again, no matter what type of hurt that is.” She sniffed, holding back tears, and buried her face into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, you didn’t come here to hear all of this, I’m sorry, now I’ve ruined your shirt too…”

“Hey, Hey… Leena?” She looked up, wiping her tears from her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize and for what it is worth, I don’t think Peter is the type to hurt you. And you know, you didn’t hear it from me but I think he might have just fallen in love with you too.”

“Really?” Leena’s voice rose several octaves at this, “You… you think so?”

“Yeah, I mean, Peter is Peter, you know – he’s a bit toxic and silly… but sometimes, sometimes he is serious and sincere, sometimes he actually opens up and gets sentimental. And it’s always something to do with you, he is different and I think that he is because he has found someone he truly cares about.”

“Thank you, thanks you for telling me that…”

He nodded, “And yes, I have been – hurt by love before I mean, I think if comes with the territory actually.”

She shuffled slightly and looked up, confusion but also curiosity, “Territory? …Jensen what do you mean by that?”

Jensen sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. When he had been invited over by his team-mate to help with some possible mage bot picks, he didn’t think he would be having such a conversation. Especially when the conversation was with Leena and not Peter himself. Granted, screw having this conversation with Peter, he didn’t want to lose yet another friend because of it.

“I ah, well… to put it very bluntly, I am asexual and some people, well they just can’t understand that. They think it’s an attack on them, they think that I am wrong, or broken – or that I just haven’t had it good enough yet… all those kinds of stupid things.”

“That’s… I’m sorry I am really ignorant with these things, that’s when you don’t want sex right?”

“That’s,” Jensen crinkled his nose, “Putting it very simply, yes. It’s not more about wanting it, it’s just… not being attracted to anyone with it. There are so many spectrums and so many different types and I must admit I’m still learning about it all myself.” He leaned back at this point, looking thoughtful, “All I know, is that I am still romantically attracted to people, I still want to be part of love like that, but all I want, is a life with someone, I want to love them by making them smile, I want to love someone by falling asleep in their arms and waking with them every morning… I want to hold hands and get lost in kisses. And to me, none of that is… enhanced with sex, love is not linked with it, and the appeal, the connection through it is just not there… There are just so many people, that think you can’t have love without it… that not wanting it, means my type of love is wrong…”

He breathed out deeply, and when Leena looked down, she saw that his hands were shaking. She suddenly felt like this was something that the midlaner held very close to his chest, she felt honored, when she thought about it – that he had just told him so much.

“I don’t think you are wrong, or broken… all of those things sound lovely.” Leena looked up at this and offered him a smile, wiggling her way out of the hug she had forced upon Jensen. “Like, I am a big fan of sex but if something happened, some accident or medical thing that meant that I couldn’t or the person I loved couldn’t… I don’t think it would make our love anything less. I wouldn’t think the relationship pointless, so, I don’t think any relationship you end up is any less than mine.”

“Well,” Jensen cleared his throat, trying to hold back the surge of emotions that were flooding through him at the sudden conversation. “You would be in a very small minority there, speaking from personal experience and all...” He sniffed, the emotions taking over, he had no idea why he had just blurted out everything, especially to someone he barely knew.

“Hey Nicolaj?” He looked up to see Leena smiling sadly at him, “that was really brave of you – to tell me all of that… and no you are not broken, you are just different – and the world would be so, so boring if we all liked and wanted the same thing.”

“Thank you.” The two of them hugged, pressing into each other tightly, “You are not broken either.”

**x-x-x**

The fire pain moved all the way through his body, travelling through his body, heading directly to his heart. It pulsed and crashed through him. The pain rooted him, it stopped all movements, his brain seemed to freeze not knowing what to do or how to react. Breathing became hard, breathing became one of those things he had to actively think about and he could only really think about one thing at a time. It was either breathing or moving, so he sat at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at the abyss that was the rest of the way home. He could barely see through the searing pain that caused his vision to blur, colours all merged and washed through the air.

He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he needed to move, that he needed to make his way up stairs to his apartment, but the pain, the pressure wouldn’t let him. It was through sheer will power that Peter found himself outside of his door, granted he was pretty sure hours had passed since he was at the bottom of the stars, but he didn’t remember anything. It was all pain, it was all flashing colours, it was all being breathless and confused.

His hands shock, his whole-body shock and his head exploded as he fumbled his way through the door, stumbling into his own home. “ugh…”

“Peter!”

He fell into someone’s arms, his mind whirling, his skin burning at the touch, “Ah... um Leena?”

“Not quite, come on, can you get up?”

Peter narrowed his eyes, trying to force his eyes to focus onto the person holding him up. “Jensen, is that…” He paused, his head burning as he tried to think of the right words, “What… what the fuck are you doing in my house?”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “You invited me, you idiot.”

“What I…” Peter shock his head, pushing himself away from Jensen, the burning of the touch too much for him to handle. “I, I can’t… everything is all…”

“Peter… you’re scaring me.” Leena moved forward, trying to take his shaking hands in hers. “Just please, let us help you, let us know what we can do.”

“I, I don’t know, I… it hurts, why, why does it hurt to talk? What does it hurt to touch?” Peter’s eyes darted this way and that, as if looking for a phantom. “It’s all everything…” His words fell flat at this as his whole body gave a sudden shudder.

“Peter?” Leena moved ever closer than this, her concerned call of his name turning into a small shriek as suddenly Peter lurched forward, throwing up all over her seeming the close distance.

Neither of them missed the dark red splotches of blood mixed with it.

“Oh… oh honey…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean – I’m sorry…” At this he collapsed, breathing out and closing his eyes, pulling in on himself in pain. His head did not hit the floor however, Jensen darting forward, catching him. “I… everything hurts.”

“What do we…”

“I will get him to bed and call a Doctor, you get yourself cleaned up.”

Leena sniffed, looking down at the shivering Peter who was muttering in pain, “Jensen… Nicolaj... I’m scared.”

Jensen reached out and squeezed her hand tightly, “I know, me too – I’m really scared too.”

**x-x-x**

“Noo…” Peter drew out the word, pushing away Jensen’s attempt to clean the vomit off before putting him to bed.

Jensen wasn’t having any of it, “Trust you to wake up just to complain about someone trying to help you.”

“Embarrassing…” Peter mumbled, turning slightly red, as Jensen wrestled the shirt over his head. “You… you seeing me like this… embarrassing…” He fell forward slightly, his head hitting Jensen’s chest as cold water trickled down the back of his neck washing away any traces of the sick and blood. “Embarrassing being so, so vulnerable.”

“What, don’t you trust me?”

Peter muttered something under his breath and swayed slightly, pulling away from the grip and searching his team-mate with his eyes. “I…”

“You,” Jensen sighed placing a single finger as the large bruise that was stretching across Peter’s chest. “You have a lot of explaining to do Mister.”

Peter shook his head, “Can’t… all foggy, all pain… sleep?”

“Yeah,” Jensen pulled a fresh shirt over Peter head and eased him to his feet, slowly leading him out towards his bedroom. “Time to get you to bed – come on, easy.”

Peter just hummed, nodding off slowly, by the time they got to the room, Peter was well and truly asleep, slumped over Jensen’s side. 

“Right – this is going to be fun.”

“Here, let me,” Leena appeared frazzled in her appearance and nature, her quickness in the shower showing how little time she wanted to spend away from Peter. Together the two of them maneuvered the sleeping Peter into bed, trying to make him as comfortable as possible with the pillows and blankets.

Satisfied, Leena took a chair from the other room and put it as close to the side of the bed as possible, taking up her post. One hand clasped in Peter’s the other going through his hair. Jensen quietly excused himself to make a call to emergency, hopping to get someone to come to then, rather than having to take Peter anywhere specific.

He returned not to long after, placing a hand on Leena’s shoulder support, she pressed herself into the touch, “They’re sending an ambulance, paramedics are going to make the call on whether he can stay here or they need to take him back to hospital.” Jensen sighed, “It is going to be a long night, I’m going make a brew, would you like one?”

She nodded, “thank you?” Her voice shook and was hoarse, telling Jensen in the small time he had been out of the room she had started to cry. 

He bent down, towards her level and wrapped an arm fully around her, the other hand he used to wipe the back of his hand across her checks, getting rid of the tears. “Be strong.” He whispered just as much to himself as to Leena, “We’ve got each other, we can be strong.”

“Thank you… thank you for staying, if you weren’t here…”

“If I weren’t here, I would have come back in a heartbeat you know that.”

She nodded, breathing deeply into the hug that they stayed in for a few moments before Jensen pulled away, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving. As Leena sat beside the bed, she tried her best to pull herself together.

“I’ve got you Peter, we both do – please, please let us help you through whatever this is.”

She tried to stop his mind going through all of the worst things it could be, she tied to focus on the positives. Peter was home, he was alive, he had managed to get her, she wasn’t alone, he wasn’t alone. “Just because you don’t know what is going on doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, come on… pull yourself together…” The fear trickled up her mind, telling her that yes it was actually that bad and she did need to worry. “Oh, I wish the ambulance would get here soon.”

“You and me both,” Jensen returned once again, holding two steaming cups of coffee, “I ah – don’t actually, know how you like it, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay – tonight it does not matter.” Leena took the cup gratefully and had a small sip, “you guys have scrims tomorrow, right? It just occurred to me because I am going to have to say I won’t be around for any of our work tomorrow… what about you?”

“They can deal without the both of us, it’s not we have a full team anyway. They will understand.”

“Then you will stay – even tomorrow?”

“I’m here for as long as the two of you need me – yes.”

“You know you don’t have to, right? Sometimes I feel like I am forcing you.”

“No, I want to stay, I want to help my…” Jensen’s voice cracked slightly at this, he faltered, “You are my friends, and being there for each other is what friends do.” 

Leena smiled softly at this, then a small frown appeared on her face as Jensen went to sit in the small chair in the corner of the room. “What do you think you are doing?” She rose an eyebrow at him before patting the side of the chair beside her. “I’m tiny enough that we can both sit here.”

“But I don’t want to crowd you?”

“Come,” There was a finality to Leena’s voice and Jensen sighed, making his way over to the chair, letting Leena pull him in to be sitting next to her. “There, much better.” Leena offered him a smile before returning her gaze to the sleeping Peter, one hand still tight in his while the other sat uneasy on her leg.

Jensen took it without hesitation and together they waited and watched.


	2. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who are reading this. I appreciate any and all feedback, it always makes me want to write quicker and share more with you all. <3

They were jumpy, every little sound was somehow turned into the alarm of the intercom or knock at the door. The house seemed overly creaky as if it had somehow changed over the course of the few hours. Time stretched on and Peter slept on, a welcomed sight that, baring a few shifts in his shoulders and small mutters he seemed okay. They both knew that he was not in fact okay, however even if the sleep didn’t magically make what they had seen and heard disappear, it gave them something, however small to make them think it wasn’t as bad as they thought.

The house moved again but this time the creak of floorboards was joined by the crackle of the intercom from the desk downstairs. Leena almost knocked Jensen out of the chair in her rush to answer it.

“Yes, yes please do send them up, thank you.” She breathed out deeply in relief, before taking a moment at the door, readying to open it. The knock had barley registered when she opened it. Two paramedics stood, carrying bags and equipment.

“Hello Ma’am, we’re sorry for the wait, it’s been a very busy night.”

“No, sorry if I seem like I’m annoyed it’s just seems like a long time. Please come in, Peter is through here.” She led them into the house where the small introductions were made between them all. As one of the paramedics began inspecting the sleeping Peter, the other began asking questions.

“What can you two tell me about the condition, even confirming what you said on the phone.” They began telling them everything they could remember, from his words to behaviour to the symptoms they remembered seeing. “Hmm, do you what kind of pain it was, anything specific?”

“No, I don’t think he was coherent enough to really name it properly.”

“Well, it’s beginning to sound like alcohol poisoning.”

“Peter doesn’t drink.” The immediate response was echoed by both Jensen and Leena in almost exact unison. “Ah, sorry that came out really forceful, however that is true.”

“Hmm, people believe what they want about those they care about.” The comment came from the paramedics looking Peter over and Leena had to stop herself from glaring at them. “I suppose you are also going to tell me that he doesn’t do drugs.”

“Of course not, how dare you…” Leena made her way forward, but her voice trailed off when she reached Peter. The paramedic was holding near the top of his arms, a small red mark standing out on his pale skin. “I didn’t notice that, what… is that what I think it is?”

“It’s the point of contact of a needle piercing the skin yes, it looks slightly infected too…”

“No, no he would never,” Jensen now joined Leena placing a hand on the shaking shoulder. “I know Peter and he would never do such a thing, not willingly.”

The two paramedics shared a look, before nodding to each other. “We will wake him and ask a few questions, now, he may want you both to leave when answering, you have to be prepared for that.”

“But, but he’s…” Leena sighed, she didn’t like the idea of waking him but it was probably for the best. “Okay but please let me be the one to do it.” The paramedic moved aside giving Leena room to be beside. “Peter, hey honey…” She gently shook him and he muttered in his sleep, face shifting into a frown. “I know, it’s hard and painful but you need to wake up.”

“Ah…” Peter’s eyes fluttered open, his words barley coming out in a whisper, “Leena, no why, why I want… want sleep.”

“Peter, the paramedics just want to ask you a few questions, to understand what is wrong, can you do that for us?”

“Mmm,” Peter struggled to sit up, Leena helping him, as well as one to the paramedics who steadied the other side. 

“There you go, they just want to talk to you.”

“I, I don’t understand,” Peter’s head flopped forward in tiredness before he shook it, trying to keep his muscles from fully tensing up and his eyes from closing. He tried to ignore the pain that this caused, “I will, I will try but I don’t…” He breathed out sharply and his face suddenly turned a stark pale. “Ah…”

Having had it ready just in case, Jensen quickly rushed forward, holding out the large bowl. Peter took it just in time and threw up once again. The dark, deep red of blood was even more prominent this time around, “Fuck…”

“We will keep that, for processing,” Was the comment as Jensen went to clean it up, “Leave it over by our bags would you, I will go and get it ready.”

While one of the paramedics went to sort that out, the other moved forward, taking a seat next to Peter’s bed. “Right, Mister Peng this is going to really hard I know and it might even be embarrassing but I need you to be fully honest with me in regards to the questions I am about to ask you.”

Peter nodded, his hands gripping tightly in Leena’s, who sat on the other side. 

“Okay, have you been drinking at all in the last forty-eight hours?”

“No Sir, I do not drink.”

“Hmm and have you taken any other substance at all?”

“Substance, drugs? No, no I have not… never… why?”

“Can you describe to me, in as much detail as possible, the pain you have been feeling.”

Peter frowned, “Um, it’s like a… fire… and a pulling when I talk, or when I try to talk…. I can’t focus on more than one thing at a time I don’t even remember walking up the stairs here, because I was too busy trying to remember to breath… My whole body was numb and I…” He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain that talking was causing him and trying to remember the feeling that had consumed him. “I was, scared…. I remember feeling scared and hopeless.

Peter hated that this caused tears to form in his eyes, all the of feelings coming flooding back to him, “What… what do I do now, what did I do, maybe I did something, what can I…. remember…”

“It’s okay, I think I am beginning to understand what is going on, I don’t think you were supposed to remember.” The paramedic looked thoughtful at this, as if considering weather, the next move was right or now. “Mister Peng, could you lift your shirt for me please, I would like to inspect your bruises.”

Peter nodded but blushed slightly as the he did so, the paramedic holding it up as he inspected the shifting bruises underneath. “Mister Jensen, could you come here please, I need your assistance.”

“Ah, what can I do?”

“Your hand please.” The paramedic took Jensen’s hand and moved it to place over the bruises, re-positioning it so it almost matched exactly. Leena let out a deep, shaking breath while Jensen swore, removing his hand quickly. He did not like the sight of it, he didn’t even want to think about what it meant.

“Right, that clears up everything up, I believe you all when you say you don’t drink and would not use anything. It is now clear that this was forced upon you from someone else.”

“I… are you saying someone attacked me… why, why would they…”

“Seeming you can’t remember anything; I would put my money on you saw something you shouldn’t.” The paramedic sighed, moving away from the bed and into his bags where he began looking for something. “I should get you in touch with the acting Police Director.”

“No, No I don’t want that.”

“Peter?”

“I just want to get better and pretend this never ever happened.”

“Peter, you were assaulted, surely you want someone held accountable.”

“No, I just want this all to be over with, I just….” Talking had been too much of a strain on Peter and he tipped forward slightly, clutching his chest as he did so. Jensen once again was there, one arm wrapped around the shaking Peter, the other holding a container steady for him. Peter gripped the container, and Jensen’s hands tightly in his own as the sound of the shaking coughs echoed around the room. “Can I… can I go back to sleep now, please?”

“Yeah, you rest up, are you okay with Leena and I knowing all the medical stuff, I could leave if you would prefer it was just her?”

“No, no you don’t have to leave… I trust you both, I’m okay with you knowing, I know you will look after me.”

Jensen helped the sleepy Peter back down into the bed, in mere second, he was asleep again. He returned to the paramedics, a set look on his face, “Okay, please tell us how to look after him. That’s all that matters now, anything else is secondary.”

**x-x-x**

“You need to eat; it wouldn’t do anyone any good if you end up sick or something because you haven’t been looking after yourself.” He was holding out a bowl towards her, filled with pieces of fruit in the bowl. “Come on, we will share.”

Leena had a feeling that Nicolaj wasn’t the type to give up easily, plus if you dealt with Peter you kind of had to be a certain level of stubbornness yourself. She sighed, taking one of the offered forks, “Thank you.”

Nicolaj pulled over a chair and sat the bowl on the bed between them, were the two of them slowly picked at the fruit as they talked. 

“It’s all so terrifying, knowing how close he was… to not even coming back home.”

“I know, I keep thinking that I’m kind of glad that he doesn’t remember anything. I don’t want him to have those memories, he already has his fair share of horrid ones…”

Leena nodded in agreement, shifting slightly to the side so that she could place her head on his shoulder. “He is going to be okay though… although he is going to hate how long it is going to take to recover.”

“Yeah,” Nicolaj paused and then tried to lighten the mood by adding, “Might give you guys a shot of actually beating us in LCS.”

Leena laughed, “That and the whole no jungler thing.”

“Mmm, that too.”

“Did you get a response back from anyone?”

“Ah, Steve asked to be kept updated and said he might come around. Cain and Dodo said they will call in the morning.”

“What about the team?”

Nicolaj just shook his head, “I didn’t want to worry them, Core especially would be upset, probably come barreling in here without a second thought.”

Leena nodded, “that’s way I wasn’t too specific, I’m sure Søren would want to come over too.”

“I think Peter would appreciate not many of us seeing him like this.”

“He did say he was embarrassed yes.” Leena glanced over at the sleeping Peter in the bed glad to see that he was getting some sleep. “He has no reason to be this doesn’t make him weaker.”

“No,” Nicolaj agreed, “It makes him so much stronger.”

They sat in silence once more, slowly finishing the food, Nicolaj taking the dishes back to the kitchen and mindlessly washing it. Back in the room, Leena shifted slightly, having eaten her body felt relaxed and warm and sleeping snuck into her. She had no idea how long she had been up at this point, time seemed no longer to exist normally, and it was staring to take its toll on her.

She shifted once again, moving to be more over the bed and taking Peter’s hand she tried her best to force the sleep away. When Jensen walked in a few minutes later, he was greeted by two sleeping figures, Leena’s soft sound of sleep adding to Peter’s sporadic ones. He wasn’t too surprised to see her having fallen asleep; he could feel that he too was close to succumbing to it’s embrace.

A quick glance around the room told Jensen where the extra blankets were and he took one from the pile behind the couch in the corner and carefully draped it over the sleeping Leena. She muttered lightly but did not wake and as Jensen tucked the blanket around her, she snuggled into it.

“Sweet dreams.” Jensen took up his vigil at the bedside, this time keeping a watch over both of them. Something twisted and pulled at him, something he tried his best to push down and ignore. Now was not the time for his feelings to decide weather or not they were real. It was not a very fair situation to base it on at any rate. As Jensen argued with himself about this, time moved on and on, the next thing he knew he was trying to force himself to stay awake and he had almost nodded off when the gasp and whimper from the bed shot him right back into awareness.

“Peter?” Peter had pulled himself up into a tight ball, his whole body shaking, muttering incoherent sentences to himself. “Peter, hey…”

Peter shot forward and this time Jensen wasn’t ready for it, he grabbed Jensen as if he was something else entirely and pushed him away, yelling as he did so. Jensen landed on the floor beside the bed, followed closely by Peter as he lost balance and fell himself. Peter’s whole body was slick with sweat, his clothes sticking to him, his hair mattered, a surge of blood and vomit left him, as he coughed, covering his already slicked clothes.

“Ah, ah… so… so, cold… so horrible.” Peter muttered the words and Jensen helped him up, wrapping an arm around his neck, making sure to keep a good grip on him even when Peter tried to push him away.

“Hey, Peter, hey… let me help, please, please just let me help you.”

“Leena?” The word was gurgled, Peter’s eyes closed as he swayed. 

“Yeah sure, let’s go with that, come on, a nice warm shower to get you all clean and feeling nice again.”

Peter just hummed at this, clutching onto Jensen as he carefully led him out of the room. By the time they had reached the bathroom, Peter was completely delirious and he basically fell into the shower as soon as Jensen turned around to try to steady them.

“Rude.” Peter muttered to the glass, leaning into it, he fumbled for the tap and managed to turn it on, not even flinching at the scorching hot water that now surged around him. “Mmm.”

“Wait, no…” Jensen shuffled over and leaned around to turn the water temperature down. “Come on now, no burning yourself.”

“Aren’t you going to join me?” Peter’s words were still slurred and Jensen had a feeling his friend still thought he was Leena. 

“I’m not joining you; I’m helping you, there is a difference.”

“If you say so.” Peter turned around at this, finally making eye contact, “You say that but you are just as soaked as I am.”

To help Jensen did have to get right in the shower, Peter seemed rather unable to even stand by himself, let alone undress and clean himself.

“You shouldn’t have to do this, just leave me alone on the floor. It is not your job after I was stupid and got myself sick.”

“Hush, stop with that nonsense, let me take care of you, because I want to, not because I have to.”

Peter muttered something under his breath at this and swayed slightly. “I think… I think I am going to be sick again.”

“Doctor said it was normal and even good for your recovery.”

“Doesn’t feel good,” Peter shook slightly. Jensen holding him so he didn’t fully hit the floor. Peter threw up again, the hot water washing it away almost instantaneously. “Fuck…” Peter’s vision began to swim, his eyes heavy, his mind screamed at him. But for a slight, split second, it all cleared and he looked up, confused and slightly shocked. A pure vulnerability flickered though his eyes, “Wait… Nicolaj?” 

With this Peter collapsed again and Jensen found himself with a very wet, very naked and very unconscious Peter in his arms. Jensen just shook his head, re-positioning slightly so that he could easily stand, “You’re damn well lucky I love you, you idiot.”

Slowly, methodically, he made sure Peter was fully cleaned, trying to ignore the anger and pain he felt at the sight of the bruises, soon enough the water was turned off, they were dried off and Jensen found himself bridal carrying Peter back into the bedroom.

He found some fresh clothes to put on Peter and somehow maneuvered around the still sleeping Leena to change the sweat-soaked sheet off the bed. “There you go, like nothing ever happened.” Jensen tucked the bed in around the sleeping Peter and made sure to re-position Leena’s blankets as well. He leaned back, shivering from the water that was sticking to him and held back a sneeze.

Jensen held back the urge to run his fingers through Peter’s hair, to take his hand, to move closer to the bed. Instead he busied himself with his phone, checking new and sending more texts off to the coaching staff and management. If possible, he needed a change of clothes. It was going to be a long, and cold, night.


	3. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am so sad TL wasn't able to make it to play-offs this split. They played so well with that last game :(  
> I'm hoping the boys stay together for Summer and these no reality to these transfer rumors, cause I really think they could be a great time with time.
> 
> But enough with that, this is set right at the start of the year, before the split even starts, so we don't have to worry about that.  
> Hope you are all staying safe, wherever you are in your bubble. :)

Her neck pulled slightly and her back twisted, at first confusion hit Leena, a surge of questions. Then, realisation, panic, as her eyes snapped open and she leapt up in the chair. “Ah, what… where… Peter?” He was still sleeping in the bed, although there was a kind of calmness to him now and Leena didn’t miss the fact that he was wearing different clothes.

“What?” She leaned back further, catching the blanket on her shoulders before it fell to the ground. Running her fingers along the threads she couldn’t help but smile as she put two and two together. “Jensen, you…” She blinked, noticing the empty chair, “Where have you snuck off to?”

Stretching, Leena moved out of the chair, running her fingers through Peter’s hair and kissing him softly on the check before heading out of the room. The sweet smell of cooking reached her and she blinked at the sight that greeted her, “Jensen?”

“Oh, you’re awake – did you sleep well?”

“Thanks to you, yes – what is all this?”

He smiled softly, before shrugging, “Breakfast?”

Leena hummed at this, “You didn’t need to.”

“I know I don’t need to; I want to.” He turned at this point and Leena finally got a better look at him, he looked completely shattered, “Have you… have you even slept?”

“Couldn’t, I mean I almost did nod odd, but Peter woke up.”

“He has different clothes on.”

Jensen nodded, “He was covered in sweat and threw up – so I helped clean it up.”

“And the sheets, I noticed you somehow changed those as well.”

“I just wanted him to be as comfortable as possible, so…” Jensen’s words were cut off by a sneeze, followed by an array of hacking coughs as he backed away from the food he was making. “Ugh.”

“You got sick.”

“I couldn’t quite dry myself off.” Jensen said with a wave of his hands, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Here, help me take this to him, he needs to eat. As much as I hate it we are going to have to wake him up.”

“I will take it in to him, you relax.”

“No, no I am fine – I can manage staying up and helping.”

“You need to relax! You can’t just keep going.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone with this okay, so…”

The small argument was interrupted by a knock on the door, causing them to both freeze in confusion. Leena was he one that answered the door, the confusion disappearing immediately at the sight of who was on the other side. 

“Oh, Steve, Cain – you came?”

“Of course, we were worried, wanted to make sure everything was okay. Your messages were very cryptic.” This last part was directed at Jensen who, at seeing the two, had relaxed slightly. “Oh, and why did I need to bring you a spare set of clothes?”

**x-x-x**

The soft hand on his shoulder was a reassuring one, the voice, even more so, edging him slowly awake. “Hello Sleepy Head, sorry to interrupt but you need to eat, Doctors orders.”

Peter wrinkled his nose, “But I’m just going to throw it all up again.”

“Well apparently that is a good thing too.” Leena offered him a small smile, “So, you’re feeling better enough to complain.”

He looked quite thoughtful, “I slept quite well, I don’t remember how… I was cold, and uncomfortable and the suddenly warm and… safe, almost like I had nothing to fear.” Peter looked down at this, noticing he was wearing something different his fingers ran along the sheet under him. Soft and new. “Thanks, for looking after me, for making me feel safe.”

“I’m glad that you felt that, I did to, but I can’t take the credit Peter it wasn’t me.”

“Huh?”

“I fell asleep, at your side, and woke up to being tucked in a blanket, woke up to you, looking happy and… as you say, safe.”

“It wasn’t you?” Peter frowned, looking thoughtful, small flashes of the events coming back to him, being carried out of the room, being cared for, concerned eyes looking at him. He remembered feeling safe, kind hands, being cared for, being helped… being loved. Eyes, bright with emotions but flickering with concern stood out in his mind, a face with a worried smile, a face that certainly wasn’t Leena’s.

“Nicolaj…” He whispered the name, a sort of odd happiness filling him at the thought. “He, why would be even do that… wait, where is he?”

Leena looked annoyed at this, “resting, hopefully. I think that idiot caught himself a cold for not looking after himself properly and ignoring his need for sleep. Oh, and by the way, Steve and Cain are here.”

“Oh, I should go out and say hello… wait, did he get sick because of me?”

Leena only shrugged, “Eat first, then we will see if you are up to moving, okay?” She ruffled his hair at this and Peter pouted slightly, before it turned into a smile as Leena bent down and kissed him, “eat, try to, for me please?”

“I suppose I don’t want to let your cooking to go to waste either.”

Leena chuckled as she went to leave, glad to see Peter eating the food, “I can’t take credit for that either.” She left him with his thoughts, heading back into the lounge in hopes to see Jensen sleeping somewhere – he wasn’t in sight however.

“He’s changing into the clothes we brought him,” Steve explained, seeing the look of confusion on Leena’s face. “We will help you to force him to get some sleep after that, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, for helping him and coming. Peter is just eating but I am sure he will want to pass on his thanks in person as well.”

“Of course, we will let him come to us, I have a feeling he might be a little nervous so a lot of people crowding all around in that room is something he doesn’t need right now.”

“Well, he did ask me to leave him alone on the floor last night, so yeah, I would say he’s feeling a little awkward.” Jensen came out of the spare room, and even though he now had fresh clothes, he still looked completely shattered. He sneezed which only added to his sickly appearance, “he’s eating?”

“Yes, and you should be sleeping.”

“No arguing,” Cain cut off any reply form the midlaner. “We are here now; we can look after Peter.”

“Cain is right, you are not good to anyone in your current state.” Steve walked over and placed a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Just a small rest, that is all we are saying.”

“Ah, I am outnumbered, I guess it wouldn’t hurt seeming you are here now… no one has to be alone.” Jensen sighed, and then yawned, causing them all to roll their eyes at him. “Fine, you all win.” He went to collapse on the sofa but Leena stopped him. “What?”

“Spare room, actual bed – come on.”

Jensen sighed and let Leena march him towards the spare bedroom, quickly moving things off the bed that they had been using as storage. “Leena, you don’t have to, I don’t want to…”

“Nicolaj, it works both ways.”

“Huh?”

“We went to look after you too,” She smiled softly, indicating the now clear bed. “You looked after Peter and you helped me get some sleep too. When Peter woke up he said that he felt safe, you deserve to feel that too.”

“I…” Jensen swallowed, trying to stop the blush from crossing his face and the urge to hug Leena. She was quicker however, pulling him into a hug and leading him to the bed. He finally obliged them wanting him to sleep and sunk into the bed, chuckling as Leena leaned over and tucker him in.

“Don’t worry – I’ve got you. And I have Peter too, so don’t let that worry you, please.”

Jensen nodded, closing his eyes and breathing out deeply, he didn’t realize how tried to actually was until right then, sleep overtook him almost immediately.

“Finally,” Leena muttered, silently moving out of the room, closing the door softly, determined that he wouldn’t be disturbed by anything or anyone. She let out a breath when she moved back into the main lounge, “Well, he is out of it.”

“Not surprising, he hasn’t been sleeping much as it, so these twenty-four hours straight wouldn’t help.” Steve was busying himself by creating coffee for them all, while beside him, Cain was platting up some of the food so that the midlaner could eat when he got up. “He also doesn’t do to well when people he cares about are in trouble, especially when there is nothing, he can do about it.”

“It was terrifying,” Leena whispered, “Last night, or… whenever it was, not knowing anything… seeing him like that.” She shivered slightly. “I’m glad I wasn’t alone, I don’t think I could have coped if… if it was just me, I would not have been able to be brave.”

“I’m sorry I worried you so.” The comment came from Peter, as he slowly made his way out of the room, a blanket wrapped tightly around him. “I ate the food, so now I can be out here right?”

“Of course, how are you feeling though?” Leena rushed over to him, wanting to be by his side as he moved towards the lounge seating. “Any uneasiness or pain?”

“No, not yet, it is nice actually I feel… full and healthy. I’m hoping that it will last awhile. Thanks for coming, you didn’t have to.” This last part was directed towards Steve and Cain, as Peter collapsed in a chair opposite the two of them.

“Nonsense, we wanted to make sure you were alright. Plus, someone needed to help Leena convince Nicolaj to finally get some rest.”

“So, he is sleeping?”

“Yeah, he’s completely out of it.”

Peter frowned, “Idiot went and got himself sick because of me. I’m not worth that.”

“He obviously thinks so.”

Peter just bit his lip, trying to compute this information. He was beginning to think there was a lot more to all of this than met the eye but he was way to tired and his brain was way too foggy to comprehend it properly.

“Have, have you told anyone else?”

“The team just knows you are unwell; we’ve cancelled practice for the week just so you can get your footing back.”

“Ah, I see, once again I am a burden.”

“You are nothing of the sort.”

Peter just scoffed at this, deciding that it wasn’t worth arguing about. Instead he just snuggled up into the blankets, glancing at his coach and team owner from behind the top of the blanket. “Are you going to stay?”

“Well, we thought we would stay for lunch so that you eat and so that Leena doesn’t have to do any work. And maybe until Jensen is up, but if you want us to leave, we will.” Steve knew Peter well enough now to know when he was feeling embarrassed and awkward. As much as he wanted to make sure that Peter was okay, he also wanted to make this feel as normal as possible.

“To be honest I don’t even think there is food enough for lunch, I am surprised Jensen even managed to cook something together, I was supposed to go shopping this morning.”

“We can just order in.”

“No, you need a healthy cooked meal.”

“Well, then why don’t we do that for you?” Cain suggested, “We can give you two some space, but also be helpful.”

**x-x-x**

A few moments had passed since they had left and no sooner after being alone, Peter found himself in the bathroom once again hunched over, throwing up his food and blood alike. He hated it, he hated it all because he had actually felt fine, he thought that maybe he could get through this. The knock on the door reached him and he sighed.

“I’m… I’m fine please don’t worry.”

“Really, this doesn’t look fine to me.”

“But didn’t the doctor say something about it being normal.” Peter staggered to his feet, gratefully taking the offered water from Leena and following her back out into the room. 

“That is not the point Peter, normal or not, I’m allowed to worry about the person I love.”

Peter froze at this, halfway through the motion of sitting down, “the person you what now?”

Leena just smiled, sitting next to him, “You heard me.” She said nothing else and the silence filed the room as Peter tried to get over the shock.

“You love me?”

“Mmhmm, I was scared to say it before but now, I am not scared anymore.” She turned to look at him, “I love you and even if I get hurt or burned or… anything from it. I don’t care anymore; I am not scared anymore. I am her forever, I am here for the long haul – I love you.”

“I don’t want to hurt or burn you.”

“Well that is nice to hear.”

“Leena?”

“Yeah?”

“I, I love you too… I think I’m just still a little scared.”

They stared at each other for a while, eyes bright, smiled on their faces. Leena laughed, breaking the tension and causing Peter to smirk, “That’s okay you and me – we have all the time in the world.” She leaned in and Peter joined her, meeting in the middle with a bursting kiss, both of them falling into it.

Pulling out of the kiss, Leena bit her lip, running a finger long Peter’s lip as her mind whirled, “I want you to think about something however, remember that I am not the only person that loves you – and that has to count for something, that has to tell you that you are worth it.”

“Not the only… I mean,” His eyes widened, “I mean that would be… silly.” He glanced over at the door to the spare room. “I wouldn’t even begin to even think I’m worthy of such a different love or even understand how to accept it.”

Leena blinked, “Oh, you know then?”

“Yeah, I do – but I don’t think he knows that I do – he wasn’t the one that actually told me you see.” He glanced over at her and offered a small smile and a head tilt. “It seems he trusted you enough to tell you though… what do you think that says of me, to be friends for so long and not hearing it… and yet he’s only just gotten to know you.” Peter breathed out deeply. “No, this isn’t right, to talk about something so… personal without him knowing, it makes us no better than those that thought they had the right to tell me…. To talk about it, back then.”

Peter shivered, shaken by the thoughts crashing through his head. “I don’t understand everything, I don’t understand why… love is too hard and painful, I want it, so much that it hurts, but being worth it, feels even wrong to consider it, to even voice it.”

“Peter you…”

“I’m going to be okay, I… I just think it just hit me and…” Peter got up at this point and began to pace slightly, muttering to himself. He seemed after awhile to come to a conclusion and went to walk into the spare room, as if magnetically pulled there. But he suddenly collapsed, clutching his chest, pain ricocheting through his whole body.

“Fuck, fuck it, why can’t I just get one damn break.”

“Peter, you should really rest, let me get you back into your room. I can just wake you when we have lunch ready.”

“In there, with him, I want to rest… in there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Peter nodded getting slowly back to his feet. “I kind of want to talk to him, even if I won’t be able to have an actual conversation. It might help bring all these thoughts together.”

“Okay, come on then.” Leena went to help Peter and mention how stubborn he was when there was a thump, followed by a shout from the room. For a split second Leena and Peter looked at each other in a freeze before quickly moving into the room. They looked around for what could have caused Jensen’s shout.

“Nicolaj?” Peter’s voice shook slightly, as he moved around the bed, seeing the prone Jensen on the ground, shaking slightly, looking up at the mention of his name. There was the slight glint of tears in his eyes.

“Peter… Peter is that you? You’re….” He breathed out deeply, “You are okay?”

“Of course, of course I am okay. I’m a bit of a mess, but I am okay.” Peter knelt down next to him, and guessed what had happened pretty easily. “You had a dream?”

“Yeah, yeah not a good one.” Jensen’s voice was raw and his eyes turned to the ground as he pulled at the blanket around him. “I am sorry, sorry to worry you like that. I just for a moment thought it was real and I…”

“Hey,” Peter cut him off, taking his hands in his own. “You don’t have to apologize for that, we want to worry about you, just like how you worry about us.”

Jensen just muttered something under his breath, he didn’t look up instead his eyes focused on their intertwined hands as if it was the only thing that was holding him steady. “Just, just give me a minute, I still – I can still see it and I...”

“It’s fine, must have been a pretty big one huh?” Peter cleared his throat and tried to lighten the mood, but before he could take it back, it backfired. “What, did I die or something?”

Jensen flinched and his breath hitched slightly.

“Peter!”

“Ah fuck….” Peter’s mind whirled at this and his heart snapped slightly. “That was a stupid thing to say, I’m sorry. I’m fine, I am going to be okay, ah… ah, just come here.” Peter surged forward and tried to push back the feeling of Jensen flinching as he wrapped him up in a tight hug. “We are all going to be okay, because we are together.”

“Together, I like that.” Jensen’s voice was soft as he relaxed into the hug, his whole body sinking into Peter as much as he could. “Heh, you are going to get my cold.”

“Well, technically I was the reason you got it in the first place, so I guess we are even.”

“Ha, I guess.” Jensen’s voice was cut off by a sneeze, causing Peter to chuckle and for Leena to roll her eyes down at them.

“You two idiots, I can’t help you when you do stuff like this.” She walked over and sat on the bed beside them. “Now are you going to get off the floor and back to bed or are you both just going to sit there?”

“The floor is pretty comfy, especially with Peter as a pillow.”

Leena just shook her head as Peter nodded in agreement, “Fine stay here, I will go wait for the others to get back.” She muttered something under her breath as she left the room.

There was a small silence between the two of them before Peter finally spoke. “You know, she is probably right, we probably should get off the floor, ugh, if I can.” He flinched, clutching his chest and shifting away from Jensen to clutch onto the bed and pull himself up. “Ah, maybe I am not as okay as I thought I was.”

“This is what happened when you don’t rest like you are told to.”

“Okay put a pause on that, I don’t think you of all people have any right to lecture me about resting.” He smirked at Jensen who just shrugged as the two of them stood together, swaying slightly with the exhaustion in their bodies. “Maybe we should just stop being stubborn?”

Jensen laughed, “Never going to happen.” He smiled softly as he moved to sit on the bed, right next to Peter. “So… this… this isn’t awkward at all – is it?”

“Awkward? What do you mean?” Peter frowned slightly, but noticing the slight blush on his team mates face, figured it had something to do with what he wanted to talk to him about. “Oh, you mean the whole being in love with me? Not awkward at all.”

“What… Peter!” Jensen turned to look at Peter the blush crossing on his face. “How, what I… ah…” He was completely speechless, his mind blank. “I am, ah… I’m sorry?”

Peter laughed, “Never thought I would see the day when you are speechless. You don’t have to apologize you know, it’s actually okay.”

“I…” Jensen blinked, looking away and suddenly feeling very vulnerable. “How, how did you figure it out?”

“You stayed, here by my side, here by Leena and it’s not the only time you’ve just… helped me so I figured, it might be – because that’s how you love people right?”

Jensen just blinked at him, his mind completely whirling, “It's... a little more complicated than that, but I guess, for now, I guess that is how it works.” He breathed out deeply, “I don’t understand Peter, I really appreciate how calm you are about all this but… ah why exactly are you calm?”

“You know, it actually pisses me off that someone being nice and considerate to you about this is confusing. You shouldn’t be feeling surprised when people are nice to you.”

“It comes with the territory Peter, or so it has been until now. But I don’t understand how you even knew about it in the first place.” 

Peter sighed, “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but some people thought it was the right to tell others, they thought it was funny.” Peter clenched his fists, “I hated that at that time, I didn’t think any of it. I didn’t know you; I was a stupid, naïve, idiot…” He shock his head, “I don’t ask you to forgive me for that time, I only say now after doing a bit of growing and actually knowing you, well how you chose to be, what you chose to identify with, doesn’t lessen you as a person, or your love, or how you chose to love… and really I don’t fully understand it, but that doesn’t lessen it either.”

Jensen was just staring at Peter in shock, watching as he unloaded all of his thoughts as a jumble of words, Jensen had a feeling Peter had been holding onto for awhile now. The words came out quickly and Peter’s voice became more hysterical and his body began to shake as he flailed his arms everywhere.

“Peter,” Jensen grabbed both at Peter’s hands and pulled them down in between them, “Thank you, for everything but you really need to calm down.” To add to Jensen’s point Peter began coughing slightly as he suddenly couldn’t breath properly. “See, damn it.” Jensen placed an arm around Peter, keeping him steady as he had the coughing fit, “You really need to stop doing this to us, to me.”

“Ah, maybe,” Peter took a deep breath, shifting to lean on Jensen’s shoulder, “Hey, Nicolaj?”

“Yeah?”

“Give me some time, because I’m pretty sure I might love you too.”


	4. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that are still reading - I hope you enjoy this chapter as well :D

“Hey Leena, how are your two patients going?” Steve and Cain returned to the apartment with food for them to help with. “Have their stubbornness been worn down yet?”

Leena just sighed, “I don’t know if that is even possible it’s almost like together, they multiply the stubbornness. But in the same way…” She glanced over at the door, “At the moment, I am pretty sure they are just cancelling each other out. I have a feeling they are talking about some pretty big things, I don’t want to interrupt anything.”

“Two apparent toxic players having a heart to heart, who would have thought,” Steve chuckled. “Well I guess we should just make sure there’s something ready.”

“Yes, if it wasn’t for us, I don’t think those two would even touch food.”

“Oh, come on, we’re not that bad.” Jensen suddenly appeared from the room, opening the door quietly behind him. “Peter’s fallen asleep again, I think we should just let him rest rather than waking him up for food.”

“Oh, what deals with one stubborn idiot, what about the second one?” Leena teased as Jensen just rolled his eyes at her, walking over and placing an arm around Leena. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Well, considering my cold has turned into a full-blown sickness, I probably should be in bed.”

“Probably, but no?”

Jensen gave her a small smile, “Too much to think about, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh,” Leena’s eyes widened, “That kind of talk.”

“Mmhmm,” Jensen just continued to hold onto Leena slightly, as if she was the only thing holding him up. “So, with that being said, what is for lunch?”

“You just rest, over there – we will bring it over to you.” Steve indicated over to the couch, which Cain then basically forced Jensen over to the couch. “We will put some food aside for Peter when he wakes, did he seem better at least?”

“Well yeah, he just collapsed in exhaustion, although maybe someone should stay with him, just in case the pain comes up again.”

“We will do just that, you rest. Stopping putting everything on yourself.”

“Yes, yes, I know, blah, blah…” Jensen rolled his eyes, as he leaned back into the couch. “You should know by now that I rather suck at looking after myself.”

“Believe me, I am very aware of your inability to put yourself before others.” Steve commented with out even looking over at Jensen as he made his way over to the room where the sleeping Peter was. “Maybe you will surprise me someday but until then we just have to deal with your stubbornness.”

Jensen just chuckled, snuggling more into the couch. “That day will never come, believe me everyone else comes first.”

“Yeah, yeah you idiot,” Leena completed, coming over with something for the sleeping Jensen. She joined him on the couch, “Do you mind if I stay here with you?”

“You don’t want to stay with Peter? He needs you.”

“Nah, I think, right now, you need me more.”

“All I need right now, is someone to rant to about my messed-up feelings.”

“Well, I am all ears.”

“Even if it’s in Danish and you can’t understand it.”

She chuckled, “Go ahead.”

Jensen just sighed, smiling softly as he closed his eyes, he didn’t know how to comprehend all that had happened and everything Peter had just told him, with everything he had just admitted. It wasn’t right, Jensen knew that, Peter had been well meaning when he said he might be falling in love with him but it just might be wrong.

Jensen barley understood his own sexuality, so he doubted that Peter fully understood it yet. He wasn’t about to give himself false hope through everything, especially with how calm Peter was bout it and especially with Leena. He wasn’t about to let his love ruin theirs, no, he cared too much, about both of them, to let that happen.

“Leena... you said before that don’t think my love is worthless, that you wouldn’t belittle it.”

“Of course not, I stand by that.”

“Would you still stand by it, knowing… knowing who I love, having that… knowledge.”

“Are you seriously asking me if I’m okay with you being in love with Peter?”

“Fucking hell, does every know, am I really that obvious?”

“Jensen, why would that bother me, you love who you love and I, of all people, can understand you loving Peter.”

“Normally people don’t take to well to you letting them know you are in love with their partner.”

“Well, I mean you were probably in love with his first and besides, seeing you like this, hearing what is important to you in a relationship, you might just do love a heck of a lot better than I do.” Leena leaned back slightly and Jensen automatically wrapped his arms around her. “Being there for them, embracing every moment, wanting to be with them not because of any physical attraction or the want to feel your physical needs. But just a pure, emotional based response to their presence. Me I don’t know if I could be with someone I wasn’t physically attracted to; I will I wasn’t that shallow, I truly do.”

“That’s not being shallow Leena, tell me – you wouldn’t be with someone if you were just physically attracted to them right, like if they were a right asshole, and you nothing in common. You wouldn’t stay if, I don’t know, they were really good in bed, right?”

Leena chuckled, “No, I guess not, I guess, it’s the start but there has to be more.”

“Exactly, we all have something that attracts us intentionally and then we build on it from here.”

“Hmm, you are super wise in all this you know.”

“Ha, I have just had a lot of practice.”

“Hmm,” Leena was beginning to feel pretty sleepy herself, “Can you tell me something, what attracted you to Peter in the first place?”

“His courage.” Jensen replied, “And his honesty.”

“Oh?”

“When I lost that one final, you know the one?” Leena nodded, knowing immediately what he was referring to. “Peter actually contacted me, and even though we had never really had much interaction before he gave me an honest opinion, he gave it to me straight, all the while understanding the feeling I had. It made me think for a long time, and everything I felt like that the years after I remembered what he said and it gave me clarity and courage of my own.”

“Wow, so from that one conversation it just kind of… grew?”

“Yeah, it was slow at first, a spark – then as I got to know him better, it grew and I understood it more and more.”

“Wow and you’ve been hiding it all from him every since, hiding away whilst still actually acting and showing you loved him by you actions but never voicing it.”

“I had been told by many people I was wrong and broken, I… didn’t want to voice it ever again.”

Leena felt anger at this, rage and fear. “I don’t want you to feel that ever in this place.” She tilted her head, looking right up and Jensen, her eyes boring into his. “You are not broken.”

“You know, thanks to you, and Peter I’m slowly starting to believe that.”

Leena just smiled, surprising Jensen by shifting up slightly and giving him a quick kiss on the lips before returning to the hug. A small, warm, silence began to fill between them and in no time at all they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

**x-x-x**

The bright light flickered through his curtains blinding him slightly and asking him to wake. “But, no, no I don’t want, I need to sleep.” Peter muttered, pulling the covers back over his head and rolled over away from the sunlight. “Nooo…”

“Don’t worry I’ll get it.”

“Hmm,” Peter blinked as the sunlight disappeared, something and pulled the curtains fully. The voice that had spoke that, was one that was not here when he wants to sleep. “Wait, a moment, Core?” Peter fully opened his eyes to the sight of his support, who had his arms folded across his chest a glare on his face.

“So, this is your version of just, being sick?”

“Well, I mean, it could be worse.”

“Worse would you being dead, yes.” The comment didn’t come from Core, but the other side of the room, where an annoyed looking Søren leaning against the wall.

“Ah, hello, what are you doing here – why are you here?”

“You’re hurt and I’m your friend that’s kind of what you do.”

“But,” Peter frowned, looking confused. “How do you even know?”

“Leena told me when I questioned about why our teams had a cancelled scrim.”

“And we managed to get it out of Cain regarding if you needed someone to help you out.” Core commented, his voice laced with annoyance. “And with Jensen being sick as well we thought you would need some help.”

Peter stretched slightly looking from Core to Søren, “Are Steve and Cain still here?”

“They left, they need to have some conversations, meeting and some weird paper work about maybe having the first week off for you.” Søren answered, as Core just nodded in agreement, joining Peter on the bed giving Peter a small smile. “So, we are taking over caring for you and the others.”

Peter suddenly flinched, “Wait how is Nicolaj – is Leena with him?”

“He is asleep, ah, and Leena is to, they both looked completely out of it.” Søren titled his head towards the open door. “Don’t worry I’m keeping an eye on them.”

“Well, I want to keep an eye on them too, I just – ugh.” Peter lurched forward, Core holding onto him as he coughed uncontrollably, blood pooling from his mouth. 

“Peter…”

“I, I’m okay… it’s kind of normal and well it’s painful but apparently it’s good for me for it to be happening.”

“It doesn’t look good,” Core muttered, rubbing Peter’s back as he shook. “I do not like the sight of you injured.”

Peter turned to reassure Core with a small smile, which didn’t quite have the affect we wanted due to the blood dripping down his chin. Peter wiped the blood away and sighed at the look of worry on Core’s face. “It’s okay really, I should actually eat, it helps.”

Core frowned, “How does eating help?”

“Cause then, it’s food I’m throwing up, not blood.”

Core glanced at him, “I’d rather you not say that so bluntly.”

“Sorry,” Peter commented sheepishly, “I just, I’m sick of being afraid of it – so, can you help me get up to eat.”

“We can bring it into you so you keep resting.” Søren commented, narrowing his eyes towards Peter. 

“Please I want to be in the same room as them,” Peter asked looking up Søren with a look of that a kicked puppy, “Please?”

“Ugh, stop with the adorable eyes,” Søren just smiled, “Come on then, we will get you.”

The two of them helped Peter back to his feet, once of them on each side on they made their way out, they helped Peter to his feet, one of them on each side as they made tehri way out, they helped Peter to collapse onto the seat beside the couch where the sleeping figures of Jensen and Leena were. The sight caused a warmth to fill Peter and a large smile to cover his face.

“I am glad they are resting, but it looks like Leena caught the cold.” Peter leaned over, brushing away the wisps of hair that were sticking to Leena forehead a small amount of heat coming from her forehead due to the fever.

“Guess we will all be sick together.”

“Yeah one big, ridiculous stubborn family.” Søren commented with an eye roll as he handed him the food. “Do you think it is best to wake them so that they can eat too?”

“Nah they both deserve the rest and other eating I’ll join them.”

“On the couch,” Søren teased with a grin, “That’s a pretty a tight squeeze.”

“Ah, you know the more the merrier.” Peter replied with a smile of his own. “It is not too bad having two people that care that much about you around.”

“Yeah,” Søren glanced over at the two sleeping figures and added. “Why is Jensen here anyway? Did Leena get him here when it happened.”

“No,” Peter shook his head, “He was already here, we were going to practice a few things.” He bit his lip and a small blush crossed his face. “And then he stayed and looked after both of us. He actually got the cold because of me.”

“How so?”

“I don’t fully remember it, but I remember being really bad overnight – a real mess. I am pretty sure he helped me get all cleaned up by showering and stayed with me.” Peter sighed, “And then straight out carried me back to bed.”

“Like the right Princess you are,” Søren tease, dodging the throw pillow that Peter aimed at him. “I hope you have thanked him, after the horrors of having to see you naked.”

“Søren!” Peter exclaimed as Core chuckled beside the midlaner.

“That must have been a horrible sight.”

“Core, come on man, whose side are you on?” Peter pouted at his team mate, Core just grinning back at him. “Seriously, I am sick. Aren’t I supposed to treated well and told how awesome I am?”

“That’s Leena’s job,” Core commented. “We are here to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Especially seeming how highly likely that is.”

Peter just glared at the both of them for this, muttering something under his breath before relaxing back into the couch. The tiredness was once again overtaking him, but now that he had eaten the rest of his body at least felt strong.

“Hey, guys… thanks for coming. I’m sorry for worry you.”

“Sleep tight Princess, we’ve got you.”

**x-x-x**

Jensen was the first one awake, although he didn’t dare move due to the resting Leena sprawled across him. “Well, there are definitely worse things to wake up to.” He muttered softly brushing away the hair that was falling over her eyes. “Though I do believe me leg is starting to cramp up.”

The feeling was slowly tracking up his leg, the muscles tightening, “ _fuck…_ ”

“Whoa there, language.”

Jensen turned at the comment, when his eyes met Søren he understood why his annoyed Danish had been understood. “Oh… is it your turn to keep watch of us?”

“Yeah, Core is here too.”

“Hello Nicolaj,” Core’s hand waved at Jensen’s from the kitchen where he was making a meal for them all, “Steve and Cain needed to leave due to paperwork and all that stupid stuff.”

“Right, we are probably going to have to miss a weeks’ worth of scrims, or maybe even more.” Jensen narrowed his eyes, “In saying that, why are you here, you don’t have to miss anything on our account.”

“Yeah, I have scrims in a few hours, I should be heading off soon, but I wanted to make sure one of you was awake before I left, so thanks for that.”

Jensen nodded, “I can look after Peter, I guess I just pushed myself too hard and needed sleep.”

“Well, they say we do stupid things when the ones we love are in danger.” Søren gave Jensen a pointed look and the mid laner blushed slightly, looking away.

“Fuck, does every know…”

“I would say to those that know about you, it’s kind of obvious, yes.”

Jensen made a face at this, from what Peter had said earlier he had a feeling more people knew that he had told himself. It was kind of a slap in the face seeing there were people he would have liked to have told himself finding out through some asshole.

“And what should I be expecting then, does the whole fucking League know or something.” The bite of his words was obvious and his glare was set to stare at nothing in particular.

“I’m sorry, it’s something that wasn’t his to tell… I don’t hear any denial in that however.”

“I doesn’t matter, yeah I love him, people knowing that doesn’t change much. Him knowing that doesn’t change much.”

“Really, I thought it would?”

Jensen nodded towards the sleeping Leena on top of him, “Peter already has someone that loves him and that he loves back and it’s fine they… he doesn’t need me.”

“Did he tell you this?”

“No, but no matter what he says that is just how it is.”

“Not everyone is like that asshole Nicolaj, just because he destroyed you doesn’t mean they all will.”

Jensen looked like he wanted to get as far away from the conversation as he could, he shifted slightly but then froze as Leena moved and muttered under him. “Damn it, no I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Oh, you will be fine with that, observe.” Søren shifted and before Jensen could protest, picked the sleeping Leena off the couch with Jensen and moved her to the one with Peter. She instantly snuggled into him. “I’ve known Leena enough to know that she is a pretty deep sleeper, there are only a few things that can wake her.”

“Hmm,” Jensen muttered, pulling himself up into a sitting position and stretching the numbness out of his muscles. “Well, that’s a more appropriate picture.”

“Nicolaj…. I don’t know fully what happened but it’s obvious they both care about you, why can’t you accept that?”

“Caring is enough to accept, but love... it’s not right, I can’t do that to anyone.”

“But…”

“Didn’t you say you needed to go Søren, shouldn’t you be on your way?”

Søren narrowed his eyes, “fucking stubborn idiot.”

“Yup and there is nothing you can do about it.”


	5. Convictions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that is still reading this little fic of mine. Halfway through my countries lock-down and cabin fever is really hitting in. XD It's nice to be able to escape reality for a little bit and get lost in writing :)

“Wait, Søren was here too?”

“Yeah but he was to go to actually practice, because he can.” Core answered, “Just because we are losing the week of practice doesn’t mean the other teams have to.”

Leena frowned, “I suppose that’s right, oh, I’m sad I missed him, it would have been nice to thank him in person. He was so worried.” She stretched slightly, peeling herself away from the hug with Peter. “Has Peter eaten?”

“Yes, he was sick and there was blood but he said food helped.” Core shuffled slightly on his feet, “I don’t like how he’s so calm about it.”

“I know, me neither,” Leena coughed slightly and gratefully took the tissue offered by Core to sneeze into. “Ugh, guess I got sick too…”

“Kind of happens when you fall asleep on me.” Jensen appeared from the other room, looking refreshed and rested. “A silly move on your part to be honest.”

“Yeah, yeah,” A large grin appeared on her face, “How are you feeling?”

“Better I think,” Jensen answered truthfully with a nod, “Knowing Peter is doing better helps and now it’s just a case of kicking this cold.” She sighed, “Probably shouldn’t be around people if I am honest, I don’t want to give it to anyone else.”

It was Core that chuckled, “Next thing you know the whole team will be sick.”

“Oh yes, that would be a great start to the split.”

“We’re doomed.”

“All jokes aside, you’re not feeling sick at all Core?”

“Nope I don’t get sick I am all good.”

“Wow, wish I just didn’t get sick.”

“I know right, you are like a magnet for colds.”

Jensen rolled his eyes at his teammate, although there was quite a lot of truth in the comment, Jensen had a feeling Core was recalling the many, many times he had fallen ill the last year, it was rather ridiculous. But before Jensen could really reply with a comeback there was a yell from the couch.

They immediately turned in worry to face Peter, watching as she shot awake, his eyes wide, his body shaking as he coughed uncontrollably. “Peter!” The chorus of the three voices calling out his name echoed around the room and they surrounded him in concern.

Leena gripped his hands tightly, Jensen steadying him with a hand on his shoulder, while Core had quickly grabbed a wash cloth and bowl just in case. There was a long silence as they all waited for Peter to catch his breath. 

“Water, ugh… can I have, have water?” A glass of water was quickly placed in his shaking hands and Leena helped him steady it as he slowly drunk it down. He grasped after finishing the glass blinking back ears from his eyes. “Ooh, that wasn’t fun.” He cleared his throat and coughed once more, “I couldn’t breathe, I think something was stuck in my throat.”

“Here, I will get more.” Core quickly left to refill the water, returning with a full cup that Peter slowly sipped, his hands still shaking but not enough that Leena needed to help.

Peter breathed out deeply and looked around at there worried faces. “Sorry, sorry for worrying you like that, I’m, I am okay now.”

“For now, you mean.” Jensen muttered knowing full well that Peter recovery from this wasn’t going to be so straight forward. “The Doctor said multiple weeks, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah I just hope it’s not as constant and painful.”

“You let us take care of you and I’m sure the time will go by as quickly.” Leena squeezed her hands tightly into his and offered him a small smile. “We are with you.”

“I know, I don’t think I can say it enough, but thank you, for keeping me safe, for giving me something to hold onto.” Peter looked around, finally noticing the missing person. “Wait, did Søren leave?”

“Yeah, scrims.”

“Ah, something we probably won’t be doing anytime soon.” Peter commented with a sigh, “my bad.”

“Yes, it is totally you’re fault some sketchy random poisoned you.” Jensen replied with a roll of his eyes, he was still holding his shoulders and he glanced down at him, tilting his head, “You good now?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Peter gave him a small nod and Jensen removed his hands from his shoulders and Peter shifted slightly, suddenly feeling less secure without the steadiness. Instead he leaned into Leena’s touch closing his eyes and squeezing her hands. “So, what happens now.”

“Now all three of you rest because you are all sick.” Core replied, the annoyance obvious in his tome. “And I will look after you.”

“Core you shouldn’t, you might get sick.”

“I already told Nicolaj I don’t get sick.”

Peter narrowed his eyes at his support, “But it’s too much to risk.”

Core blinked, “You don’t want me here?”

“No, no I just, ugh words and thoughts…” Peter fell back into the couch. “I just hate that I am being such a hindrance to so many people I just wish I could look after myself.”

“You are not a hindrance,” Leena commented with a small growl to her voice, “Please stop thinking that.”

Peter just muttered something under his breath, before glancing awkwardly at the floor, “So fucking embarrassing.”

“So stubborn,” Jensen replied quickly, shaking his head and walking away slightly. He ended up leaning up against the wall near the spare room, muttering under his breath in Danish. 

Peter breathed out deeply, knowing by the behaviour form his team mate that he had annoyed him. He rolled his shoulders letting the tense feeling of his muscle loosen with the movement. He bit his lip and tried to organize the thoughts rolling through his head.

“I know I keep pushing you all away but in the same way I don’t think I could be bale to get through something like this, I just… I just wish I could be the same thing to you as well.”

“I am sure if it was the other way around you would do the same,” Leena whispered softly, sitting next to him on the couch and leaning into his shoulder, “And don’t try to say that you aren’t that nice, I know you… and you would certainly do the right thing.”

Peter just mumbled something under his breath, hugging Leena and glancing behind him to where Jensen was standing. “Yeah well, some people do it a lot better than I ever could.”

“Some of us have more practice doing such things,” Jensen muttered softly, his eyes darkening as memories crashed through him, “And in receiving in both things, you are pretty good at the whole being there for people.”

“You sure about that?”

“I’m positive, you are good.”

Jensen was just staring at him at this, his eyes glinting with something he hadn’t seen in them before, it gave Peter a kind of weird jolt of security, but also a dash of fear. “Well I guess you would know of all people.” Peter just nodded towards Jensen before turning back around leaning even further into the couch as his mind wondered and processed everything.

A deep silence engulfed them as time went on their own thoughts running around in their heads, the silence was only broken by the occasional cough or sneeze. Eventually everyone found themselves falling asleep, each with women that were far from disappearing.

**x-x-x**

“Wait, you’re leaving?”

“Well I can’t stay here forever, can I?” Jensen came back with his own question with a small tilt of his head, “Besides I probably should go home and change and sort of a few things out.”

“But I…” Peter frowned slightly but then sighed. It’s not like he could force his friend to stay here and besides he did need some time to himself. Peter really had no idea that he was this clinging but it seems like this had brought it out of him. “I guess that makes sense, ah…”

“Hey you’re acting like I am never going to come back or something. I just need, some time to, oh.” Jensen blinked as Peter wrapped him in a hug, holding him tightly.

“Thank you,” Peter whispered softly, not too sure what else to do in that situation. He felt a kind of strange pull that had nothing to do with how tightly he was hugging Jensen. It was a pull on his heart, on his emotions. The last time he remembered this feeling was when he first started dating Leena.

“You can let me go now, Peter.”

“Right, ah, I just hope this whole thinking things over involved you admitting you’re worth it.”

“Hmm,” Peter sighed, looking kind of regretful, “I don’t know if that is possible.”

“I…”

“See you later.” Jensen managed to pull himself away from Peter grip, wave quickly to Leena and Core and make his way out of the door. He tried to ignore the deep echo of the door closing. It was better this way anyway, this way there was no weird complication s, no admittance of feelings and no pain when everything fell apart like it was bound to.

He sighed deeply, leaning heavily on the wall of the elevator, ready for it to take him down and away form the cracking emotions that the last few days had caused. 

“Wait!” Peter’s voice broke him out of the stupor and Jensen opened his eyes looking up to see Peter squeeze through the doors before they closed, now standing in front of him, determined, fae set in a kind of annoyance. “Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me the fucked-up asshole that told you that you were not worth it.”

“Peter I…”

“Because I want to have a word with him and when I say word, I mean I want to punch him in the face.”

Jensen just stared at Peter. Slightly speechless, “I, ah – that really doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does, because if some fucking cold-hearted idiot has done ting to you then I want to word with them because no one should have to run when things get like this.”

“Like what, exactly?”

“Emotional, you run in the opposite direction when I admit I’m falling in love with you and…”

“No, Peter, I’m running because you’re not falling in love with me, you just think you are.”

“But…”

“Just because you’re thankful for what I did and aren’t angry at me for loving you and are actually a nice person doesn’t mean you’re in love with me. It doesn’t work like that.”

“But I…”

“It took me years to understand my feelings and you think you can just waltz on in and figure it all out in days. It’s not how it works, you may love the idea of me, the idea of who I am but why would you, in your right mind – even think that you could…”

Peter grabbed Jensen at this, cutting him off by crashing his lips into him, backing him into the wall, pressing his arm up onto and metal and letting every little emotion and frustration into the kiss.

Jensen’s mind froze, then exploded, heat, passion, happiness, then dread – on increasing doom in the put of his stomach. It felt right, perfect and yet wrong at the same time. He wanted this, more than he ever thought he could want something before, but his head, his words, help him back. He couldn’t love, he wouldn’t love, he didn’t deserve it.

It took all of his will to pull out of the kiss, to remove himself from the grip and push Peter away. “No, no Peter, no, I can’t…”

“Why can’t you accept that,” Peter’s voice shock, his whole body as well, cracking with emotion and fear, “That, that was…”

“That was a physical representation of what you think you are feeling.”

“You can’t just think that I.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Jensen cut him off, “Because I want to know you’re okay, but please just…” He sighed, pulling his hands out of Peter’s just as the doors of the elevator, “Just… don’t give me any hope, especially when it’s false.”

“It’s not, not at all, please Nicolaj…”

“I know, I know you want to believe it, I know you mean well. But I am not going to let you ruin what you already have.” Jensen muttered something in Danish, under his breath before walking away breathing deeply and squaring shoulders as he ignored Peter’s call of his name.

Yes, he would come back, because his heart willed it, because he knew now, he couldn’t just let him be. But he hoped, some time, some thinking, would stopping the destruction of everything else around him.

**x-x-x**

“I think I ruined everything.” Peter’s words came spilling out that night as he and Leena lay in bed together. Everyone else had gone, the sickness was slowly becoming manageable and now that he was past the dangerous fourty-eight Peter knew everything was going to be okay and he could finally start taking his antibiotics and painkillers.

“Ruined everything? Peter, what do you mean?”

“With Nicolaj, I think I pushed him away, I don’t really expect him to come back tomorrow.”

“He cares about you Peter, I’m sure he’ll came back, no matter what stupid thing you did.”

“I kissed him.” Peter said bluntly, cutting off Leena and caused her to blink in shock. “Which really, you should be angry at me for as well.”

“I, ah, well, kind of… not really though. If I am not angry at Nicolaj for being in love with you I can’t quite be angry at you for the same thing… that is, if that is why you did it and not some weird other reason…”

“I think so, although Jensen doesn’t think I am right to do so. He doesn’t think he’s worth it.”

“Hmm, yet another thing the two of you have in common.” Leena shock her head, twisting slightly in the bed and re-positioning her self to lean into Peter, her head resting on his shoulder. “I don’t know about the whole ruining everything; I don’t think he’s going to just up and stop loving you… and showing it.”

“The more I think about it the more I realize I got dangerously close to the asshole that went around telling everything about him.” 

“How so?”

“I kissed him Leena, but have I done anything else? I showed it through something physical, that’s getting way too close to forcing a love on him that he doesn’t want and doesn’t feel.”

Leena suddenly stiffened, “IS that what happened, did someone force him into something?”

“I am not one hundred percent sure; I know they trues to, I don’t know if they actually did so.”

“That, I never even thought of that, I hate that… that’s so… no wonder he thinks it’s wrong.”

Peter nodded solemnly, “I can’t let him think that I want to do that with him. Don’t get me wrong, that kiss, it was almost like the same feeling when I first kissed you. But maybe, he is right, maybe I just like the idea of loving him of having someone do that for me.” He looked determined, “I have to figure this ll out, for… my actions to show love, rather than other things.”

“Yes, and I will work on it as well.”

“Leena?”

“I am a part of this relationship am I not? For it to work the two parts can’t be too different things.”

There was a small silence between the two of them before Peter broke it, “Huh, I can’t believe we just had a serious conversation about having a three-way.”

“Oh, shut up and go to sleep.” Leena hit him softly on the shoulders before snuggling closing into Peter. “And don’t worry, he will come back, I have no doubt about it.”

Peter just hummed in response, letting the calmness of sleep take him as he began a peaceful rest with Leena in his arms.


	6. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're due for an update! Hold onto your hats - this is were things get a little more complicated, and painful! (woohoo angst!)  
> Fair Warning: Cliff-hangers ahead

He couldn’t stay away and maybe that was why he was so screwed. He had woken up in morning determined to not go back straight away to prove to himself that he wasn’t so dependent on being with Peter twenty-four seven. And he was doing well, until he received the phone call.

“Hello, is this Mister Jensen?”

“Speaking, who is this?”

“Sir, I’m Detective Asrani, I have been in charge of the criminal case involving Mister Peng, regarding the assault and poisoning.”

“I thought Peter hadn’t asked for that.”

“He had not now but we have had other related cases and our findings need to be shared.”

“Oh?”

“Are you with him now?”

“No, no… if you need to talk to him, why didn’t you just call?”

“We believe his phone has been tapped.”

“What!”

“We have agents on the way to his place to secure the perimeter, we think we may be in continued danger.”

Jensen was already halfway out of the door, fear causing him to move faster. “Why? How… I don’t understand.”

“There has been a string of similar cases, however all the other victims have not been so lucky.”

“They died, from the poisoning?”

“No, Mister Jensen, they were found in their homes, days after their apartment recovering.”

A chill had entered Jensen’s body, stunning him completely, “I…”

“I’m sorry to panic you like this. I had hoped you were still with him, but we do have undercover agents on the way to protect him. We have to be very careful, as we think, his house also might be being watched.”

Every moment just increased his fear, deepened the terror. As Jensen finished the phone call, the Detective warned him of one last thing, “Be careful Mister Jensen, by associating with him, you too could be in danger. Anyone that entered that apartment could be.”

Even more bad news, Jensen made a mental note to warn everyone, who had com over in the last few days but first we needed to get to Peter. He needed to make sure that he was okay.

**x-x-x**

“Oh, this is why I should keep my phone on me.”

“Aren’t you trying to not be glued to it?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t help when you miss multiple calls.”

Peter frowned poking his head over Leena’s shoulder, “Who from?”

“I don’t know it’s a blocked number, I can’t even call back.”

“Did they leave a message?”

“No, it’s strange, if it was that important to call four times you think they would have left something.” Leena shrugged, trying to ignore the niggling that something was wrong. “Well, they called in intervals, so maybe they will call again soon.” She went to put it down next to her but it buzzed in her hand, not a call but a message, a text from Jensen. “That’s…. concerning.”

“Huh?”

“A message from Nicolaj,” She showed Peter the phone and he flinched. “Don’t let anyone in the house, I am on my way… what do you suppose that means?”

A chill crashed down Peter’s spine, he did not like the implications of the words. Together with the missed calls, he was getting the impression that something was going wrong. “I don’t know what it means, but I think we should listen to those words, I don’t think he would say such a thing without cause.”

Leena tensed slightly and her body shock, causing Peter to sit next to her, trying to comfort her as he placed an arm around her into the hug tighter. “Do you think whoever was trying to get hold of me – got hold of him instead? That he has been worried about something or someone?”

Peter didn’t know what to answer, or even how to answer, he just muttered something under his breath and pulled her in tighter. An airy silence filled the room, a tense crackling in the air, a silence that was shattered by a thump of someone putting their weight onto their front door.

Leena let out a small squeak of horror, grabbing her phone and immediately dialing 911. The thump echoed around the room again and Peter clung to Leena, pulling her back away from the door, holding her behind him in an attempt to shield her from what was trying to get in.

“911, what is your emergency?”

The door buckled; the hinges gave way and it flung open as someone stepped inside.

**x-x-x**

He had broken numerous traffic laws to get here but he wasn’t caring about that now, he rushed through the front doors and his heart dropped at the sight that greeted him. Police and Paramedics surrounding the doorman of the building.

“What – what happened?”

“You? You are one of Peter’s friends.”

“Yes, do you know if anyone came asking about him – someone that did this to you?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know, one moment I am just going about my day, the next I find myself being hit over the head, I went to call the Police, but as you see they were already here, as if they were waiting for something to happen – wait, no, where are you going?”

“Kid, stop – this is not something you should get involved with!”

Jensen didn’t even bother to stop to say something back to his question, or the yell of the Police. He ignored the warnings of it being too dangerous, to wait for the right people, and ran up the stairs as quick as possible, anger and annoyance filling him.

“Some great security you have Mister Detective.” He muttered angrily to himself as he slid onto Peter’s floor, rushing down the hallway towards his apartment, a chill encased him at the sight of the broken doors of the raised voices drifting from inside,

The rationale part of his brain told him it was a very bad idea to go inside the apartment, that it was the Police’s job and should wait for them. But his heart, aching, fearful, won out and he rushed into the room as if there was no danger at all.

“Peter! Leena!”

The sound of the gun shot rang in his ears, the bullet piercing the wall beside him but not before grazing his arm. Jensen grunted stumbling slightly and clutching his arm to the sound of his name being chorused by two voice. They were both okay, he wasn’t too late.

“Well, well, what do we have here... oh hello, oh yes, I recognize you. You’re the little bit of fun on the side, aren’t you?” The man laughed at this, the gun, which had been previously pointed at Peter’s head was now aimed directly at Nicolaj as he stumbled further into the room. The wound seeped with blood, staining his hand and dripping down onto the floor. “What do you think you will accomplish by coming here huh, another one to add to the body count?”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that you asshole,” Jensen snapped back through gritted teeth. “I won’t… I will not let you hurt them.” He was already beginning to feel dizzy; the bullet may have only grazed him nut he knew the blood he was losing was no laughing matter.

Time, all he needed was to create time, hopefully the Police downstairs had followed him, and figured it all out, add the fact that his phone was connected to a call to the Detective while it sat in his pocket, he hoped he wouldn’t be alone for too long.

“You’ve got spunk kid – I will give you that, but you know what, for that, I’m going to kill you last” He spun, and shot a bullet towards Peter and Leena, they had anticipated this, ducking as the deadly bullet flew over their heads, zipping through Leena’s hair.

“Nicolaj, please just leave, while you can…” Peter’s voice shock as he called out, shielding Leena with his body. “I can’t bare to think about you getting hurt by…” His words were cut off in a gasp as he felt a hand on his shoulder wrenching him to his feet. Leena yelling his name as Peter found himself face to face, barley inches away from the man who wanted to kill him. “Why, why are you doing this?”

“Because we know that your memory will be back in a few days and my boss can’t have that, so sorry but we have to get rid of you.”

Peter stiffened as the gun was jammed against his temple, the sound of it clicking into place, echoing cruelly around the room. “I… please, I swear… I won’t tell a soul.”

“Ah my dear Peter, that is what they all promised.”

The gun shot was joined by Leena’s scream, Jensen’s yell of his name and the ringing in his ears, the pressure, the immense pain. The last sensation he felt was the slick coldness of blood on his face before he fell and everything went black.

**x-x-x**

“No!” Leena’s broken screams was filled with tears as they streamed down her face. “Peter, no… why…” She caught him as he fell, her hand instantly moving over to wipe the blood off the side of his face. As her shaking hands wiped it away it took awhile for her heart and broken mind to comprehend that there was no injury. There was no bullet wound, nothing but the crimson splatter of the blood. Her mind whirled, her mind screamed and a small, tiny spark of hope lit up inside of her.

“Peter?” He moved in her hands, muttering something and scrunching up his face in pain. There was a small burn, stippling from the gunshot residue but no actual wound. 

Leena looked up to see plaster falling from the roof, the bullet wedged high above her. Breathing heavily, she glanced over at the intruder, his gun was on the floor, his hand was covered in blood, clutched to his chest. Someone had shot him in the hand just as he had fired, casing the gun to be fired near Peter’s head but up into the ceiling instead.

“What…”

“Leena, is he okay?” The voice belonged to Jensen, though it was clipped with heavy breathing.

“Yes, yes he is fine.”

There was movement, and clutching Peter close to her, Leena watched as a policeman walked forwards, kicking the disregarded gun further out of reach, a gun trained on Peter’s would be killer.

“I don’t, I don’t understand.” She breathed out deeply and risked looking above the couch, beside Jensen a tall man stood, his gun still directed at the man, the barrel still smoking. He held one hand out across Jensen’s chest to stop him from rushing forward. “You saved him?”

“Detective Asrani, Ma’am and don’t think me, it was Mister Jensen’s quick thinking that got us here in time. That was good thinking, calling me and keeping the target talking.”

“You mark my words runt! This isn’t over!” The man shouted this as the police contained him, pressing him up against the wall and handcuffing him. “You are dead, I am coming after you!”

“Pretty hard to do from jail.” Jensen just let the words wash over him. The shock of what had just happened not really sinking in yet – his mind was crashing through everything. For a split second his heart had stopped, his whole world had changed, for that split-second Peter was gone.

But now, everything was okay, now the only thing crashing through him was the pain from the wound. Jensen’s vision wavered and he stumbled backwards, his back hitting the wall, he slid down it, his legs giving way beneath him, his bloodied hand slipping from the grasp he had on his wound.

“Mister Jensen?” Detective Asrani was suddenly at his side, holding him up. “Hold on kid, we’ve got medical on the way up, you are going to be okay.”

“Peter… Peter is going to be okay, right? Even with the gun being fired so close to him?”

“He might have some hearing damage to that ear but overall, with some rest, and probably some psychiatric help, yes, he will be okay.”

“Good,” Jensen could fell his eyelids, growing heavy, as his vision darkened with every second. “That, that is really good, I am glad.” He closed his eyes, head falling sideways to rest of the Detectives body. His pulse weakened and the Detective placed his own hands on the bleeding wound.

“We’ve got you kid, you’re not dying today, I promise.”

The words echoed around the room and behind the couch, still clutching Peter, Leena couldn’t help but cry once more. Asking, pleading to anyone that was listening to help them keep that promise.

**x-x-x**

Everything was foggy, everything faded in and out of focus, if this was death if this was it – he kind of wished it was just darkness and nothing instead. His eyes twitched, the small movement sending a spiderweb of pain crashing through his whole being. He thought that was rather unfair, if he was honest, if he was dead surely he shouldn’t be feeling pain. Shouldn’t it be nothing, or everything, depending on who you asked.

His eyes fluttered again and the pain increased, the pain burst. Peter couldn’t help but whimper at it, to cry as his head pushed and pulled together with the pain.

“Peter? Peter are you waking up?”

Waking up? How, why… maybe he wasn’t dead, after all.

“It’s okay, I am here, you are safe.”

Safe? He didn’t fell safe, he felt in pain, he felt shattered – he felt…

“I’m here.”

A feeling, soft, careful on his shoulder, a hand, shaking yet still firm. An anchor, to something else other than the pain. “Leena?”

“I’m here, take your time.”

Peter breathed and thankfully that didn’t hurt and slowly, ever so slowly, began opening his eyes. A view of a hospital room greeted him, the colour muted and out of focus. A very worried Leena peered down at him, her face tired, her eyes red from crying. As a reflex, Peter held out a hand, placing it to the side of his head. A small bandage was there and pain flared through his head, his ear rang with a shrill pressure.

“I, I am alive?”

“You were lucky, the bullet was shot close to you, so you have a burn, and you may lose hearing in that ear, but yeah, you are alive.” Leena offered him a small smile, before adding almost to reassure herself. “You are alive.”

Peter gripped her hand, giving it a small squeeze, he didn’t know quite what to say to this. He didn’t think there was anything to say. Once again, Leena had to watch as he fought for his life, he hated that he had done this to her. Slowly, the room began to come into focus once again and Peter noticed that the other constant in his life for the past few days was not there.

Something cracked in him, a slap in the face as he remembered broken and shattered memories.

“Wait, Nicolaj! Leena, Leena is he okay?” He turned to her and saw that her face had fallen, her mouth trembling, “Leena?”

“I, Peter, he….” She couldn’t get out the words, “He lost too much blood.”

“No, no, he… he can’t be, no…” Peter’s brain had shut down, his whole body going stiff. He didn’t want to believe it, he couldn’t. “No… please…”

“He didn’t make it.”

His whole body chilled, everything shut down and his heart bleed, his mind screamed. No, no, it couldn’t be true…


	7. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry all for the crazy cliff-hanger, I hope this soft filled chapter makes it up to you. <3

“No!” 

The cry from the bed caused Leena to shoot around, rushing over to Peter’s bedside. He was twisting and turning in his sleep, muttering and crying out, tears were flowing down his face. She knew immediately what was happening, he was having some kind of night terror.

Leena quickly took his hand, gripping it tightly, “I have you, Peter I have you – please wake up, please look at me. Whatever your mind is telling you, it’s not real.”

“No… no he can’t… he can’t be gone… no…”

Leena froze, her heart thumping, she could take an easy guess at what Peter was dreaming about it certainly wasn’t true. “Oh Peter, please, please wake up, please wake up so I can tell you that he is okay.” She bent down and kissed him softly on the forehead, brushing his hair out of the way. “It’s okay we are all okay – we all made it.” She whispered the words to him, her own tears dripping down her face, splashing as they joined his. “We are all okay.”

Peter twitched under her touch, his eyes flickering under his closed lids. He continued to mutter darkly under his breath, shifted too and from in the bed, obviously distressed. 

Leena tried to clam her breathing as she placed her hands-on Peter’s shoulders, trying to calm her thoughts and emotions Leena shock him gently, in an attempt to wake him. “Peter, please wake up, you can do it.”

“No, no…” His words muttered and he pushed Leena’s hands away, curling up on himself as if his body was subconsciously ignoring and rejecting the comfort that Leena was giving him. 

“Peter!” If comfort didn’t work, Leena brain crashed and her emotions burst forth, she figured the opposite could work. Leena squared her shoulders and moved forward, hitting him harshly on the shoulder. “Wake up! Peter please wake up!”

Peter jolted awake with a yell, moving up to a sitting position, looking around in shock, eyes wide with fear. “What… what, Leena?”

“Hey, sorry for yelling at you, I just really, really wanted you to wake up.”

“Wake up? I, I was dreaming – it wasn’t real?”

Leena moved over, taking Peter’s hand in hers and instantly calming him, “I mean, some of it was real, you getting hurt was real.” She indicated to the burn on the side of his head. “But, I could hear you in your sleep, I don’t think what terrifying you is real.”

“Is he?”

“Alive, he is in bad shape and will need time to recover, but he is alive and will stay that way.”

Peter’s shoulder slumped and all of the tense, jarring fear left as his body actually began shaking, with all the emotion that suddenly engulfed him. “Fucking stupid subconscious, damn I really thought… I really thought I had lost, any chance, any…”

“Guess it shows how much you actually care.”

“I guess, though I would have been just a devastated if any of my friends were, you know…”

“Yes, a sadness,” Leena shifted on her feet, smiling as Peter basically pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. “But, what about deeper, how did it hit emotionally – maybe that will help you decide?”

“Mmm,” Peter looked thoughtful, but then cringed slightly as he twisted in the wrong way. Peter placed a hand on the side of his head by the burn. Still, quite amazed that he had made it out of this whole thing with just a small burn. “Have you seen him at all?"

“I tried to, after hearing that you were okay – I wanted to see him but he had just gotten out of the worst of it. He needs some time to recover to the point of being able to be around people.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“The bullet didn’t hit, but it did graze him, the Doctor said it chipped an artery. So he lost too much blood, a dangerous amount.”

“But he is going to be okay, right?”

“After awhile yeah, he will need some help early on – for him it will all be about exhaustion.”

“Hmm, guess it will be out turn to look after him.” Peter commented with a small smile, moving more into the hug. “I hope, hope I can get out of here quick, so I can be there when he wakes up and is recovering.”

“Well, you just be good and rest and I am sure if will be fine.” Leena kissed him softly on the cheek, wriggling her way out of the hug. “Rest up, idiot.”

Peter laughed at this, but shook his head. “I, I don’t want to have any more dreams, any more memories.”

“I am here and you know, I could always hit you again to wake you up.” Leena suggested with a smirk, re-positioning the sheets around Peter and tucking him in the side. “I know… you have to deal with this now, I know it will be hard but I will be here, to talk, to give you time… and to love you.”

Peter’s heart filled with this and he tried to focus on these words instead of the yells of memories and horror in his head. His eyes fell heavy once again and he breathed out deeply. “I, I trust you to be here for me. I am sorry, I am sorry for being so scared, so fragile.”

Leena just sighed, watching as Peter slowly fell asleep in front of her. She tried her best to stop the well of emotions to stop herself from falling apart. She needed to be strong, she needed to keep it all together, for both Peter now and for Jensen when he woke up.

She stood in the middle of the room, closing her eyes and trying to calm herself. After a small moment of silence, there was a knock on the door and Leena couldn’t help but jump slightly. Leena turned quickly and slowly opened the door as if apprehensive on who was behind the door.

“Hey there gorgeous.”

“I…” She sniffed back tears, opening the door fully and letting him in, she instantly fell into the hug. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with this, how am I supposed to deal with this, how am I supposed to get stay strong… I was so scared; I am so scared.”

“You’re allowed to be scared Leena; you don’t have to be made of stone.”

She smiled in the hug at this, her whole body relaxing in his arms and the tears beginning to slowly drip down her face, “thank you.”

Søren just smiled, increasing his grip on his hug, “I’ve got you; you guys are not alone in this.”

**x-x-x**

Pain, he felt it, coursing through him – linking and coursing through him, linking and chasing, every part of his being. It was like it was a part of him, like it was the only thing he knew, the only thing that he could be – the only thing he would ever know. Sounds and voices came to him as if he was underwater, a muffled, other-worldly sound that reached him through the deep pain.

His name seemed, seemed like a far-off dream, the plead for him to wake up, a falling and crumbling. A pull, moving all around his body, a different feel from pain, hope, light, comfort. He suddenly wanted to feel more than just the pain, his thoughts crashed and his mind reminded him that there was more and he need to get up and take it with both hands. He needed to wake up and accept that comfort.

“Is, is anyone there?” His voice sounded scratched and unused, he could barley even recognize his own tone, his own voice. It was like someone else was talking, like someone else was asking the question on his behalf. “Can anyone hear me?”

“You’re doing great – just take your time, there is no rush.”

Doing great? He didn’t feel great, he didn’t feel great at all. And he was pretty sure he couldn’t take his time, he had a limit, he was rushed. If he stayed in this pain for too long, he felt like he would never be able to leave it. He needed to wake up now or he didn’t think he would wake up at all.

With a deep breath, he forced his eyes open with a snap, blinking up into the light of the room.

“Good evening, Mister Jensen, it’s nice to see you.”

“Detective? What, how… do I even want to know, why are you here?”

He laughed, “Is it that obvious that it is not just to see how you are doing?”

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works.” Jensen muttered, shifting in the hospital bed, trying not to cringe as a fire like pain flared across his body. “This isn’t a movie or anything.”

“Hmm, quite right.” He paused, “Protection detail, I was setting it up and thought I’d come in and check on you.”

“Protection…”

“A man did yell that he wanted you dead.” The Detective replied, “A very unstable man, I might add and we take those things very seriously.”

“Oh,” Nicolaj wrinkled his nose, his memory of exactly what happened then wasn’t the best, probably the blood loss. Yup, certainly the blood loss. “What about Peter, him too?”

“Yes, he will have someone watching him too.”

“This is going to turn into a huge… just mess isn’t it?”

“I am sorry, but this is likely to be a court case, yes, especially if Mister Peng remembers what happened.”

“Hmm, but, but he is okay, right?”

“He’s in a lot better condition than you are, so yes he is fine. Just a burn and some hearing damage.”

Jensen shifted in the bed, muttering something under his breath before pulling the blanket up close to him. “I, can we just… this isn’t the nicest of conversations.”

“Of course, I also shouldn’t be adding to your stress in these circumstances. I will let your friends know you are awake. I am sure they will want to talk to you and you to see them as well.”

“Oh, they are here?”

“Yes,” The Detective commented as he made his way out of the room, pausing as he opened the door. “I’m pretty sure one of them even gave some blood, seeming you have a very rare type. Guess you’re lucky in that respect.” Jensen blinked this new rather shocking and almost unbelievable, he found himself rather speechless. “I will go and tell them you are awake, also I am sure your Doctors would want to know as well.”

Jensen just nodded at this, before shifting in the bed, pulling his blankets even higher up into his chin. Emotions rattling all through his head questions unanswered and confused sticking through it. The pain wouldn’t go away, it was like a dull throb that at first engulfed his side, then spider-webbed through his body.

All what he wanted to do was cry and when the door opened once again and the team walked in that was exactly what he did. Jensen didn’t even process who walked through that door, he didn’t even process who was hugging him tightly. But it didn’t matter, it was nice, it was comfort, it pushed away the pain.

**x-x-x**

He hated how long he had to wait, he hated that even though he felt fine he was being forced to stay in the hospital. He wanted to leave, he wanted to stop being a burden. He wanted people to stop looking at him in pity, he wanted thing to go back to normal – where he didn’t have police outside his door, where he didn’t have to make a police statement regarding an underground trafficking ring. He wished he had not remembered, he wished he didn’t have to sit here in fear and in pity.

“Are you thinking too much again?”

“Huh?” Peter blinked, staring at Leena, “I am sorry did you say something?”

Leena sighed, shaking her head, “You really do internalize too much, you do know that I am right here and I can talk with you right?”

Peter just sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I just hate that I am here – hate that I pushed too much…. Hate that I…” Peter sighed, breathing and deeply, “Can we just, stop about this… how is Søren?” Peter had woken up just in time to say a brief hello to Søren before he had to leave due to the Police Protection. “I am sure I will have to thank him to keeping you company and helping you.”

“He was a great comfort yeah, but he is okay – just worried, everyone is you’re just going to have to accept that.”

“People worried about me, it should, it should be Nicolaj they are worried about.”

“Don’t worry, he has comfort of his own. There is enough comfort to go around.” Leena smiled as she took Peter’s hand in hers. “You don’t have to feel ashamed for accepting some comfort of your own.”

Peter bowed his head at this, and took a deep breath, to try to stop the tears from welling in his eyes. He flinched slightly, as Leena leaned back and wiped away the single tear that was falling down his face. "I... God, Leena I was so scared, I am so scared... I don't know what to do, I know know what is going to happen, and I'm just... scared."

Leena wrapped him up in a hug, letting him rest on her body, letting him cry on her shoulder. She gave as much comfort as she could - for both of them.


	8. Cross-Roads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trade rumors have got me all sad so have an update. Thank you to everyone who is still reading :D

“Are you sure you’re allowed to be leaving Peter, you don’t feel you should rest for longer?”

Peter just pouted at his team mate, “I have done way too much resting Core – I want to get out of here, I want to go home, I want… to go see the people I care about.”

“Hmm,” He looked thoughtful, “And these people, they will always be following you?” Core asked as he looked behind him to the police that were following at a close but respectful distance. “It is all very strange.”

“Yeah, strange, but looks like they will be around for a while, until everything calms down. But really, who knows how long that will be.”

Core placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “We will help you and be here no matter what you need.”

“Thanks Core, now I think, I think I need to see for myself, with my own eyes.”

“See what?”

“That Nicolaj is okay.”

“You don’t believe the Doctors?”

“Yes, I mean, no… but… I want to see him, for myself plus. I really need to thank for, for the whole saving thing.”

“Mmm, I am sure he will appreciate it – he was quite… disturbed when we saw him. Although you never know if he will be awake, he was kind of in and out of consciousness while we were with him.”

“Yes, Leena said all the time she was in there he was asleep.”

“Oh, where is Leena?”

“I managed to get her to head back home to rest. She needed it, but is still staying in contact… I think she will come back soon seeing I am being officially discharged.”

Core made a face at this, “I still don’t like the idea of you leaving so early.”

“Early! Core it’s already been three days, three days of just laying down doing nothing. I can’t stand the idea of one more day, just sitting there while… ugh!” Peter hit the wall beside him, breathing out deeply. “It’s… it’s not fair Core, it should have been me.”

“Yeah well, try telling him that and see how he likes it. This is the hall to his room.” Core helped Peter through the hallway, carefully pulling his hand away from where he had punched the wall. “Come, it’s not too far, oh hello.”

The two of them almost ran straight towards Steve, who was making his way back down at the hallway after leaving Jensen’s room. “Oh, Peter, it’s good to see you out and about.” Steve greeted Peter with a hug, which Peter smiled at, gripping him tightly. “I am glad your okay, I am so sorry none of us were there for you.”

“Please, you don’t have to apologize, besides, someone was there for me.” Peter indicated to the door to Jensen’s room. “Is he awake?”

“No, he’s not at the moment, the blood transfusions, have really taken it out at him.”

“Mmm,” Peter shifted, uncomfortable at the idea of it being so bad. “Still, I would like to see him and ah what, be… by his side. Much like he had with me.”

Steve nodded at this, understanding the reasoning. “Well, I will let you be, but please, contact me if you need anything.”

“Yes, I will make sure to do so, thank you.” They continued to the door where Peter froze, his hands on the door handle. “I, ah….”

“Would you like me to leave you alone, Peter?”

“I, I don’t know, yes, no, maybe…”

Core just laughed at this, “Maybe, if you want, you can see how you, go with being by yourself? The rest of the team is just downstairs at the café, we will come and rescue you.”

“That… yeah, I would like that.” Peter offered Core a small smile, the support giving him a side hug. Opening the door for Peter, Core waited for a moment as Peter walked into the room. He froze for a moment, breathed out deeply and looked back, giving Core a smile and a thumbs up as Core gave him a nod back, closing the door quietly behind Peter.

He couldn’t help but smile at the knowledge of the growing relationship between his two mates. He was glad that they had each other.

Inside, Peter could barley begin to think what to do and how to think, part of him didn’t even want to glance at the bed where Jensen was sleeping, but in the end he had to. He had to make sure he was okay, he had to see it with his own eyes.

“I can do this, for you – I have to do this.” Peter turned quickly towards the bed, taking in the sight, the tubes, the wires – the numerous blinking lights all around him. He breathed out deeply, walking towards the bed, taking the chair beside it, his eyes were fully focused on Jensen in the bed.

Fully focused on the sight of the injured, his heart cracked, his feeling exploded and all he wanted to do was to talk to him, to see him awake, to take him in his hands and to hold him, thank him and just talk.

Peter wished that he could just to the person who he loved, who he just wanted to be with. “I, I am here, Jensen I am here with you and I am not going anywhere.” Peter hesitated slightly, wondering if it was okay to take his hand through all of the medical equipment. He didn’t want to accidentally put anything out of alignment. He decided on putting his hand on the bed, close to where Jensen’s hand was, not quite making contact with it or the needle and infusion tube in it.

“It’s time for me to be here for you, no matter what and no matter how long, I am here you have me.” Peter sniffed, tears to his eyes. “I just really wish I could hold you while saying that, I really wish I could look you in the eyes and for you to truly I’m telling the truth. I won’t run, I won’t hide even when things get bad…” Peter sighed, “Damn, I just wish I could…”

“No one is stopping you, you know – with the whole holding thing.”

At this comment, Peter breathed out deeply as his hand was suddenly taken by Jensen. “What I…”  
He looked up, blinking in shock as he found him staring at the open eyes of a smiling Jensen. “You, you are awake?”

“Hi there, Peter.” Jensen said with a small smile, squeezing his hand. “I am glad to see that you are, okay.” He tilted his head, abrupt smile on his face. “And really, you can get a little closer if, ah, if you want.”

Peter didn’t need to be told twice, he surged forward, wrapping Nicolaj up into a hug, careful not to press too tight. “Are you sure this isn’t hurting you?”

“I won’t lie, it hurts a little bit, but I will take it for this contact, for the feeling in my heart, just… it’s nice. It hurts, but it’s a safe feeling as well.”

Peter blushed slightly at this, he let go of the hug but stayed at his position sitting on the bed, shifting so that he had his back against the wall while Jensen snuggled into his side, mostly on top of him. He places on arm around Jensen, the other subconsciously running through the midlaners hair, still well aware of all the equipment. “Is this okay?”

“This is good,” Jensen closed his eyes, the peacefulness of it all washing over him. “Damn it, as much as I love this whole thing, I hate that I am so tired, I would have liked, to be awake with you, a little longer.”

“Well, you need your rest after all, you… you almost…” Peter breathed out deeply, clasping his hands tightly in his. “Nicolaj we almost lost you all because you wanted to help me and Leena – it should have been me.”

“If it was you, you would be dead, no question.” Jensen muttered, his voice quiet, the sleep obviously kicking in. “And I couldn’t take that risk, you… you being alive is all I need. Knowing that, I would risk… anything.”

“You… love too much, I am not worth it.”

“Yeah, you are.” Jensen commented with a small smile, his whole body seeming to relax, the tense in his shoulders disappearing. His head in Peter’s chest as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Peter smiled at this, shifting Jensen slightly, making sure to position his medical wires carefully. Peter pulled the blankets over the both of them and stayed where he was. “I’ve got you; you take your time.”

Jensen muttered softly in his sleep, shifting closer to Peter as he did so. Peter had no idea what was to come and how it was all going to fall into place but all he knew was that he planned on going forward hopefully with both Leena and Jensen at his side.

**x-x-x**

“It’s going to take some time getting used to.” Leena muttered to Peter as they were chaperoned into their house. “I never thought there would be consequences quite like this.”

“We are here for your safety ma’am, until the trail is over.”

“And how long is that again…”

“A month, maybe more ma’am…”

Leena sighed, “Well, thank you – will it be the same, I mean, just you – all the time?”

“I don’t know for sure ma’am, but I think so…”

“Good then we can become friends and please, call me Leena.”

“Yes, Ma... ah, Leena, have a pleasant evening.”

“Yes, you too.” Leena gave him a smile before closing the door. Looking around the apartment she couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Peter. “Sulking already?”

“They kicked me out of the hospital.”

“Well no, technically they kicked you out of Jensen’s room, not the hospital itself.”

“Pssh, there is no other place to be in there now.” Peter commented with a huff, collapsing on the couch. “I am just annoyed if I wasn’t allowed in there, they should have told me to begin with... I was getting used to just being there with him.”

Leena laughed, “You were in there for three days, Peter it’s probably a good thing you have to come home to figure out everything out and maybe give Jensen some space as well.”

“Hmm, am I being clingy?”

“About just as much as you are with me, yes.”

“Damn it, you really have to say it have to say it so bluntly.”

“Of course, it’s all the better to see you embarrassed about it.”

“And they say I’m the toxic one.” Peter muttered as Leena laughed, walking over and joining him on the coach. “Little do they know,” He added with a laugh, putting an arm around Leena, who snuggled into his hug. “Do you think, Leena, we will alright, right?”

“Give us a few days and I think we will be very much more than okay.”

“I think we will be okay too.”

The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a while before falling asleep in each other’s arms. The road ahead may have been uncertain, there may be many twists and turns, and decisions to be made but they were up for any challenge, because they were together.

**x-x-x**

“I am surprised that Peter is not here still. Last I heard he wasn’t having ant of it and was watching you like a hawk.”

“Yeah, I kind of, um… asked the hospital staff to tell a little bit of a lie…” Jensen looked embarrassed. “He thinks he is not allowed in here.”

Søren just stared at Jensen in shock, “You... got him to leave, you pushed him away – again?”

“It’s not, well the way you say it makes it seem so much worse.”

“Well, I don’t know if there is a nice way to say it. He wanted to stay with you and help, just like you had him.”

“I know and I appreciated it but, but I could tell, how seeing all this, seeing me like this hurt him and I couldn’t have that.” Jensen sighed, “I noticed he was always looking at everything going on and I realized he still blamed himself but it is not his fault.”

“No, it’s the person that did this and a little bit of your stubbornness is to blame as well.” Søren added, inwardly sighing in relief as this last point caused Jensen to laugh. “You know, things might be a bit easier if the two of you actually talked about this kind of stuff together, as, you know, as a couple.”

“Whoa there…” Jensen shock his head, “That was… never established and it certainly isn’t… that.”

“Oh, denial really isn’t a good look on you Nicolaj.” Søren laughed, raising an eyebrow at his friend. “People not in a relationship don’t do what he did… or what you did for that matter.”

“I mean, you are here, the others are here…”

“I’m not going to fall asleep in your arms, sorry. You’re going to have to admit it sooner or later.”

“Let me choose the later, I think we all have something to think about first. Thoughts, emotions, I am going to spend probably a week more in this room. Maybe by the time I leave, I will have a better idea about all… this.”

“This?”

“Yeah, this….”

Søren just shook his head at Jensen, “Stubborn idiot.”


	9. Calligraphy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you are all doing well. I'm determined to get this all finished, and even though the LCS climate, especially the TL one, is pretty crazy right now, (and even though I had a mental break down this week T-T)I've managed to write out the last two chapters. The last one will be up soon.

“Good afternoon Charlie.”

“Afternoon Leena, how was your walk today?”

“It was lovely thank you, oh and we stopped by to get a treat – this one is for you.” Leena grinned, handing over the dedicant looking muffin. “Don’t tell anyone that I am playing favourites.”

He laughed at this, “Don’t worry, I won’t. Thank you very much for this, were either of you planning on leaving again for the evening?”

“No, we will not be, we are expecting a guest tonight however.”

“Yes, I will make sure to consult the list.”

“Thank you, good night Charlie.”

“Good night, Leena.”

Leena gave him a hug before she moved back into the apartment, giving Peter a bright smile as she did so. “I really like him.”

“Don’t get too attached, one day he will not be there.”

“Mmm, I know but I still like him.” Leena joined him on the couch, noticing that as soon as he had sat down Peter had taken up a pen and had began looking for some paper. “Are you writing something?”

“Yeah, a letter.”

“A letter huh, is it for who I think it is?”

“Yeah, I thought… if I can’t see to get the words verbally out, then maybe I can put them down on paper. I know it’s a bit silly but then at least then they are there and known… maybe I am better at writing it down, and not saying it face to face.”

“Yeah well you kind of do make a fool of yourself when trying to talk about such things.” Leena laughed as Peter pouted, “Don’t worry, I think it’s really sweet.”

“Do you think, think he will be okay with everything, maybe it’s best to say it all out loud.”

“It’s better than smashing your lips on him.”

“What? Leena, I…”

“This is you showing your feeling, it’s you going out of your way to do something different. Like when you stayed with him in the hospital, it’s different, it’s unique, I think if you learn more to find that balance everything will work out fine.”

Peter sighed, “I don’t even know if he still wants me around or to be my friends, let alone… let alone anything else. He hasn’t even spoken to me since we saw each other in the hospital.”

“He agreed to come over, didn’t he? Just because he didn’t call you as soon as he got out of the hospital doesn’t mean he suddenly hates you.”

“Leena, it’s be weeks, you know, maybe after weighing up all the pros and cons he just stopped.”

“No, believe me, even with all your stupid behaviours, and all the harshness of you, people don’t just stop loving you, its not possible.” She sighed and hit him on the shoulder, “Now stop letting me distract you, go one – you have a love letter to write.”

Peter just rolled his eyes at this but shuffled more on the couch, fully focusing on the paper in front of him. He needed to get this all finished and figured out his words before Jensen arrived for dinner that night.

**x-x-x**

He was nervous, he didn’t exactly know why he was nervous, he didn’t actually think he should be nervous about his current situation, but apparently, he was. Here he was, wanting nothing more than to run to and away from the situation at the same time. It had been over two weeks since he had last seen Peter, since he had kicked him out of his hospital room, just under a week since he had a long phone conversation with Leena and yes, through all that time and all that thinking he was still unsure.

Unsure if this was what he needed, unsure if it was even right for him to be consider everything that went along with it. Jensen had, in the last month of being n hospital and then at home, way too many conversations with other people about this. Søren, Core, Steve and even Impact had given their opinions, and lectures about everything. They had all said, in some form or another that he was really talking to the wrong person about it all, and they were right. Jensen didn’t want to admit it, but they were all right.

He was in a rather bad mood to be honest, and had been ever since he got out of hospital. That was until the invitation to dinner had been extended to him, Jensen had been talking to the wrong person, he missed Peter, as much as you could miss someone that your used to seeing on an almost daily basis. He missed being able to get his coffee in the morning of scrim days, he missed laughing at his stupid puns and dad jokes. He missed having his so-called arguments with Peter, their toxicity at each other that in the end caused the whole team to be in fights of laughter.

Jensen wondered if anything would change, if those things he missed so dearly would change, maybe they would disappear entirely and be replaced with different, more personal, things. Things that he didn’t just miss, but that made him ache and desire more. Or maybe those things would continue, but have more emotion, more meaning behind them, or maybe…

“Ah, Mister Jensen – are you planning on going out, ah, anytime soon?”

Jensen blinked, realizing he had been doing his inner-pondering out, in the hallway, hand still on the door, half-open. The detective that had been tasked with his personal guard was staring at him in concern.

“Are you okay?”

“I, ah, yes, yes, I am fine… sorry for worrying you.” Jensen rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. “I am just really lost in my own thoughts, and yes I did have plans tonight, actually, dinner with a…” He paused, wrinkling his nose, “A friend.”

“Friend, huh? Is that what you were thinking so deeply about?” There was a teasing tone to his tone as he leaned over Jensen and double checked that the door was fully secure. “So are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Jensen followed him out of the apartment and into the assigned car. It still felt weird having someone around to watch his every move and to take him anywhere he wanted. But he guessed this is what he got when someone yells that they wanted to murder him.

“Hey, ah, is there any, any real updates on everything?” Jensen asked as they made their way to Peter’s apartment.

“Nothing has changed since we last talked sorry, I know it must be frustrating but patience is key when it comes to these things.”

“I know, but it seems like it will never end.” Jensen muttered, staring out at the window, watching the world pass by. “It kind of makes everything I have been worrying about seem pointless actually.”

“Really, why do you say that?”

“Time is precious, my time, I don’t know how much I have got. I don’t know what is coming, but I do know my feelings, my thoughts. I should rely on them.”

“Yes, you should… we are here by the way. I will walk you up and you can contact me when you are ready to be picked up.”

“Thank you.”

He was still nervous, of course he was but he wasn’t backing away from these feelings, not now.

**x-x-x**

“Hey Peter, can you get that?” Leena called out from the kitchen, her hands full of plates and utensils. The doorbell echoed around the apartment, “I’m kind of pre-occupied.”

“What?” Peter appeared from their room, looking slightly flustered, Leena couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact the he had decided to wear his best suit.

“The door Peter, he is here.”

Peter’s eyes widened and he looked horrified for a moment, “he is early.”

“And does that mean you are just going to let him stand out in the in hallway? Come on…”

“But, but I am not ready.”

“Oh seriously! You little…” Leena sighed in frustration, carefully placing her pile of dishware on the table and made her way over to the door. Peter quickly ran back into the room as she opened the door.

“Hello! Sorry about the wait there, my hands were full. It is so good to see you!” Leena greeted Jensen with a hug, pulling him as tight as she could. “Peter will be out shortly and I still need to set up so you just make yourself at home.”

“Oh no, I can come and help you.” Instead of taking up residence on the couch, Jensen followed Leena over to the table. “The quicker it gets done the sooner we both can relax and take it easy.”

“Thank you.” They finished setting the table in comfortable silence. “Dinner is just cooking, it shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes, do you want a drink of something while we wait?”

“No, thank you, I am okay for now.”

“Great, well now we just… oh it is about time, you are worse than me.” Leena huffed as Peter suddenly appeared, looking sheepish as he did so. “Now you can entertain Nicolaj while I go clean up.” Leena indicated her state of dress, comfortable close, covered in the grease of cooking, “I wont be too long.”

“Ah…yes,” Peter muttered, shuffling over to Jensen, greeting him with a small but bright smile, “Hi.”

“Hi, don’t you look dashing.”

“I, ah, wanted to look nice, for you.”

“For me?” Jensen rose an eyebrow and with a wicked grin added, “now Peter, is this a date?”

“Would you be mad at me if I said it kind of was?”

Jensen just laughed and rushed forward to embrace Peter in a hug, “I missed you.”

Peter breathed out deeply, taking everything in and grasping Jensen as tightly as he could. “I missed you to, so, so much.”

Every nervous energy fell from both of them, this was it, this was their night. The night to sort this all out and make the most of it. They were going to seize it with both hands and never look back.


	10. Constellations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we made it to the end! Thank you everyone for sticking it out with me and continuing to support my writing. I hope you are all doing well in the place you find yourself in, in these times of lock-down. <3 :D

“You have never cooked anything so wonderful for me, I feel like favourites are being played.” Peter pouted at Leena as they sat down after dinner for drinks. “You do realize I now have high expectations?”

“I only do this special like this for people I actually like.”

“Oh no, I have been wounded!” Peter cried out sarcastically, putting a hand to his head dramatically, falling to the side into Jensen. “I feel like I will never recover from this mortal blow.”

“I am sure you will cope; you are a big boy.”

“I’m sensing a hint of sarcasm.”

Jensen grinned brightly, “just a hint, really I was going for more.”

Leena laughed at this while Peter just sighed, “And now I am being ganged up on, rude.”

“Aww, you know it just means we love you.” Leena commented, ruffling his hair and getting up from the sofa. She made her way over to the table and began picking things up, “You two cool cats have a talk, I will just clean up a bit and get dessert ready.”

“Leena, you really don’t have to make such a fuss,” Jensen blushed slightly, “And you know, I want to see and talk to you too.”

“Oh, I know, but I think the two of you have a lot more to talk about.” Leena gave Peter a pointed look at this before humming to herself, drowning out any more protest that either of them might have.

“Wow, she is subtle as a brick, that one.” Peter sighed, shaking his head and shifting awkwardly on the couch. “So, ah… you’re all healed up?”

“Physically… yes?”

“Yeah, physically…” Peter knew all too well what this meant. His body had made a full recovery too, his mind, well that was going to take some time. It was going to take a lot of work and they both knew that. “I see you also have a shadow following you around these days.”

“Yeah, I don’t really leave the house much however, it’s… hard.”

Jensen looked down, looking uncomfortable and slightly uneasy at the thought. “I look forward to when he gets back to practice.”

Peter nodded, taking a risk, he shifted his hand over and linked it with Jensen’s giving it a small squeeze, “Next week, you are strong you can get through it – we both can.”

“Mmm, yeah, ah, Peter…” Jensen cleared his throat, looking awkward. “I wanted to apologize to you.”

“Apologize, whatever for?”

“When, when you were asked to leave my room, in the hospital it wasn’t a policy or anything I just… I just asked them to, because, well I was afraid and I was confused and I didn’t know what to do or what I wanted.”

He breathed out deeply and added, “I have kind of been avoiding you ever since, so I am sorry.”

“You, ah… wait.” Peter blinked, “you were scared, so you sent me away?”

“Yeah I know, normally you run towards the people you love when you are going through stuff like that.”

“You are a special one, I will give you that.” Peter just smiled, shifting closer and bumping shoulders with Jensen. “You don’t have to apologize but seeming it’s you and we all know what your brain is like, well apology accepted.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah you needed to think, I kind of needed it too – gave me time to come up, ah, with this.”

“Oh,” Jensen blinked as suddenly Peter was holding out a folded piece of paper to him, “What is this?”

“I wrote you a letter.” Peter answered with a shrug, “Cause I kind of suck at talking about these things and I make a mess of thing so, ah, yeah, here you go.” 

Jensen took it carefully, “Ah… now? You want me to read it now?”

“Please, before I explode on the spot and I, uh I am just going to go over here.”

“Really?”

“Hey you are not the only one that runs away from their feelings you know.”

“True, you have been doing that to me for years,” came the mutter from Leena in the kitchen, “you know you really should work on that.”

“Yes, thank you for that amazing advice that magically fixes my situation.” Peter called over to her as he made his way into the kitchen, looking back over his shoulder constantly as if terrified of seeing a bad reaction from Jensen.

The midlaner had a serious look on his face, curled up on the couch with his legs tucked underneath him as he read through the letter. Every now and then his face would twitch into a smile or his eyes would widen, brightening with colour. These responses were accompanied by little murmurs of indistinguishable words, any actual loud comment was said in Danish, with a confused tilt of his head and a higher than normal octave.

“Wow, did you write him a whole novel or something? Am I going to have to but new pens after you used up all the ones in the house?”

“Shut it!” Peter commented with a slight frantic to his voice as he hit Leena softly on the shoulder. “I just, I, uh, I have a lot of feelings.”

“Oh my God, you are such a sap,” Leena hugged him at this, adding as she kissed him softly on the side of the lips, “But I guess it is one of the reasons why I love you, I wouldn’t have it any over way.”

“Is this really how you feel?”

Peter almost jumped at the sudden appearance of Jensen who had somehow made his way over to them without either of them realizing. He sounded unsure, but hopeful. “Uh, well, I wouldn’t have written it if it wasn’t true.” Peter suddenly panicked, “Why, is there something wrong?”

“No, No, I…” Jensen smiled softly and Peter fought off the urge to completely melt at the sight. “You have to understand, I want to be able to love you and for you to love me back. I want that more than anything and what you have said here, what you feel, is that, and that is amazing. But I, I have just spent so long, a large, painful chunk of my whole life without that and being told I don’t get that… It’s, I am sorry but it is just going to take some time for my head to realize it’s possible.”

“Okay, but what about your heart, does that – does that realize it?”

“Yeah, it certainly does.”

“Cool,” Peter took a step forward, “Take as long as you need, just know and keep all of that with you.” Peter indicated to the letter. “It is true, it’s real and I want to work on it.”

“Thank you, for this and I… ah,” Jensen suddenly looked awkward again. “Um, Leena, I hope that you...”

“This is new for all of us, but I want to support this is anyway possible. And be a part of it to, if you let me and if you find enough room to love two people.”

“I, ah, think I already... ahem.” Jensen cleared his throat, “Really?”

“I don’t want these two things to be separate, Peter and I have already talked about it.” She walked over and took both his hands in hers. “Sure, it’s a different type of love, it’s showed differently and it’s still growing but it is there – and I want to be a part of it.”

“Leena I…”

“Now, let’s put all this emotional heavy stuff aside before I burst into tears. Tonight, let’s just be.”

“Be, I like the sound of that.”

**x-x-x**

“When you said that you were on the roof, this was not what I expected.”

“You didn’t panic, did you?”

“No, I knew it wasn’t anything like that – I was just confused.” Peter made his way across the roof, towards were Jensen was sitting on a deck chair, a large blanket wrapped around him.

Beside him was a second chair and blanket which Peter took the opportunity to take the offer up to sit in. He sunk into the blanket, “Are you going to stay up here all night or…” Peter just blinked as Jensen just handed him a coffee, before going back to looking around his surroundings, mainly skyward.

“Your star gazing?”

“I have always loved looking up at the sky. Back where I grew up in Denmark you could see it almost every night. Here it’s sadly less common.” He sighed, sipping his own hot drink and shifting in the blanket. “Tonight, is one of those rare nights when you can actually see the constellations. I didn’t want to miss that chance.”

“Wow, that’s… I really didn’t peg you for someone who is into astronomy.”

Jensen laughed, giving Peter a cheeky grin, “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“Good, that means I can enjoy learning about them. Now,” He pulled up the chair, awkwardly shifting over to be right beside Jensen. “How about you give me a lesson?”

“Say the magic word.”

Peter just rolled his eyes, but instead of staying something, he took Jensen’s hand held an intense eye contact and slowly moved the hand up to his lips, which he then pressed softly atop them, holding the eye contact as he did so.

Jensen blushed deeply, “Ah, ah yup – that… what will do.”

Peter smirked and leaned back in the chair, still holding onto Jensen hand. “Go on then, I’m waiting for my lesson.”

Jensen smiled, “Alright, you win.” He moved in closer, putting his head on Jensen shoulder and looking up into the sky, the constellations glittering above them.

**x-x-x**

“It feels so good to be in the studio again, you know ready to get into some games and ready to terrorize the rift.”

“Feels weird not having Mads here though.”

“Ah, it’s okay, we’re going to suck anyway.” Peter commented with a shrug, causing his team to glare at him. “What? Don’t look at me like that, we’ve had no practice we’re going to suck, badly.”

“Yeah but you don’t have to say it so bluntly, come on, have a little faith.”

“What, you are you saying you believe?”

“In you, no,” Jensen replied with a grin, causing a chuckle to filter through the team. “in the team, yes.”

“Oh, I have been wounded.”

“You said it first,” Jensen just shrugged, nudging Peter softly, “I am just agreeing with you, if you really think about it.”

“Oh, he is good,” This comment came from the side, where they saw Søren walking towards them, obviously having overheard the conversation. “He is appealing to your ego both a brilliant but possibly fatal tactic.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Well it can only get too big and it’s probably close to capacity already, so…”

“Oh ha, ha.” Peter just rolled his eyes, subconsciously wrapping an arm around Jensen’s shoulder, pulling him a little close. “You would think he would stop being toxic to me after all this.”

“Nah, pretty sure the toxicity is part of the love.” Søren commented with a smirk, “Or something like that – right?”

“Yeah, right.” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Now if you excuse us, we have a game to completely lose.”

“I wonder if saying good luck is still applicable in this situation.” Søren muttered with a laugh, causing the team to chuckle. As they went to walk away, Søren stopped them for a moment, holding Jensen’s eye-contact as he added in a whisper, “careful there are certain, people around the corner.”

It took a moment for him to realize what his friend was trying to warn him about. “Oh, thanks… I think we will be okay. He might be the one that has to take care.” Jensen lowered his voice even more and added softly, “I am pretty sure Peter want to punch him in the face.” 

“What are you two whispering about?”

“Nothing of your concern,” Søren gave him a look before waving and walking off, “Just go and lose your game.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes towards Søren back and then focused his view back to Jensen, “What was that all about?”

“Don’t worry about it, you shouldn’t concern yourself about I and focus on losing gracefully.”

“Hmm, you are hiding something from me.”

“No, I just… can you do something for me?” Jensen really wasn’t going to say anything but as they turned the corner, he locked eyes with him and he knew as soon as Peter noticed things would be crazy. “Just promise me you wont punch him until after the games?”

“What in the hell are you talking… oh… oh…” Peter’s eyes darkened and he let out small growl as he began to walk forward quickly, dragging Jensen with him. “Oh, ho I am going to kill him.”

“Peter, no, come on – guys help out a little bit here?”

“Peter ah, killing – or ah, attacking someone right before matches start might not be a good thing and could well be seen as something the team could get blamed for.”

“Oh like I care about any of that, I am going to get him.” At this point, Peter pulled out of the side hug and stormed the rest of the way down the corridor. The team, hissing his name and calling out to stop, followed him at a short distance.

“Hey! I want a word with you!” Peter made his way up to, a glare set on his face, as he looked him up and down in confusion. “And by word, I mean I would like to punch you in the face.”

“Uh, Peter? To what do I owe this, uh, pleasure?”

“Don’t take that snarky, stuck up tone with me, you worthless, sorry excuse of a human being.”

“Ah, Peter – are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Peter snapped, turning to face the team of the man he was here to completely destroy. “This does not concern you.”

“You are threatening to punch my team-mate, so I kind of think it is.”

“You would do it too if you knew what he did. Well, unless you too are a worthless human being.”

“I have no idea what is going on but you really need to calm down…”

“Oh, you little!”

“Peter!” Jensen stepped in front of him, grabbing his hand and pulling it down. “Please, he is not worth it. You could get in serious trouble and he’s not worth any of it.”

“But I...”

“I know, but you can’t.”

There was a small silence at this, and then, he clicked, and his face changed from confusion, to understanding, to a cold smirk of self-importance. “Oh, this is just precious, I understand now, you’re trying to regain some of dear Nicolaj’s honour or something like that? I really don’t think that is possible, and no matter what sob story he told you then…”

This was cut off by Peter pulling out of Jensen’s grip and punching him right in the face. There was a collective gasp and he reeled backward, holding his nose bleeding nose. “You told me yourself you fucking bastard, or did you forget how much of a big mouth that you have? Now let me make one thing really clear for your little mind to comprehend.” Peter’s glare held a fire to it that caused the whole group to not dare talk through the crackling silence. “If you even think about coming near the people I care about again, if you even think that spreading their personal lives is even remotely a good thing – then you just remember…”

Peter grabbed him by the shirt and his words dripped with venom, “I had a fucking gun to my head and I survived, I put a mob boss in jail and stopped and underground trafficking ring and I lived to tell the tale. Don’t you dare for one second think I wouldn’t hesitate in ending you.”

He let go of him, pushing him slightly, causing his back to hit the wall behind them. Peter gave him one last look of fire and turned on his heel, showing his back to him and leaving. The silence followed him, a deep shock running through the group gathered.

Jensen sighed, “Uh,” He addressed the team, completely ignoring the person that had done their best to ruin his life. “Sorry, you had to witness that, it is hard to stop Peter when he sets his mind on things. Yeah…”

“It is okay. Um, so the rumour about the whole mob thing and almost dying is true?”

“Yeah.”

There was small pause, “Is he okay?”

“He will be, through time.”

“Are you okay?”

There was something behind that question, Jensen didn’t know if eh was reading into it correctly but it felt weighted as if in asking that – they were also questioning about other things, perhaps about other rumours that were going around. 

“You know, yeah, now that I have him – I’m great.”

**x-x-x**

“What, what is all this?”

“A celebration – surprise!”

“Of what, what are we celebrating?”

Leena just rolled her eyes at the two clueless men standing in front of her. “It’s our anniversary, duh. I mean, honestly, you would think at least one of you would realize.”

“Our…wait, what?”

“Should have figured you wouldn’t remember. Must I do everything in this relationship?” Leena asked with a teasing grin. “Here, for you.” She was suddenly holding out a large package to Jensen.”

“But I…”

“It’s from both of us.”

“It is?” Peter blinked in confusion.

“Yes, you told me you wanted to get him one of these, so I did some research to make sure it would be a good gift and you weren’t just pretending to know this. And then went out and found one.”

“You, you didn’t have to.” Jensen took the large package with care. “Man, if I knew you would be giving me something, I would have brought what I have at home for you.”

“Oh, you did remember the anniversary?”

“Well, not really. I just like buying things for people when I see something, I know they will like. Giving gifts is just… I… ah...” He blushed, running his hands along the perfectly wrapped package. He had it sitting on his knees across the couch as it had a pretty decent weight to it. “You really, really didn’t need to.”

“I know I didn’t need to, I wanted to, come on now – open it.” Leena excitedly urged him to open it, pulling Peter to her as well, whispering something to him which made his eyes widen and his face light up. “You are keeping us waiting, come on.”

Jensen just sighed, knowing he wouldn’t win the whole not needing to get him anything argument, and slowly began opening the present. As the paper fell away to reveal it, his eyes brightened, his mouth fell open in shock and his heart skipped in his chest. He could hardly believe it.

“I…”

“Do you like it? I didn’t know which one to get because I have no idea about the ins and outs of these, but the person at the shop certainly said this was the best one, apparently they knew what they were talking about.”

“I, I can’t believe it, I can’t believe you went out of your way to find one.” He carefully ran his fingers alone the sleek metal. “This, this is beautiful, I… thank you.”

“You like it?”

“I love it, thank you.” Jensen looked up and smiled brightly at the two of them. “I think I need to move, no point in having this if you can’t use it from your house. Got to find a place with an unobstructed view.”

“Well, you could leave it here, I mean, for now, until you find a place.” Peter added quickly, clearing his throat awkwardly. “And maybe, you could give me more lessons?”

Jensen nodded, “Staying here, yes I like the sound of that – and yeah, more lessons.”

He went back to carefully examining it, Leena joining him on the couch, listening intently as Jensen explained each part of beautiful telescope with excitement.

This was only the beginning, together the three of them, they would explore the stars. Nothing would stand in their way.


End file.
